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“Don’t you dare apologize. This is my problem, and I’m dumping it on you.”
I rear back at his harsh tone, and he closes his eyes and exhales forcefully, rubbing his forehead back and forth above his eyebrows as if trying to dispel some of the frustration there.
When he looks at me again, his expression has gentled. “I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just uncomfortable with this situation, and I wish I weren’t about to leave town. I’d rather you didn’t have to fend for yourself right now.”
“So tell me how I can help,” I say hurriedly, wanting to be part of fixing all this. I can’t help but feel partially responsible. “I’ll use a driver if you’d like. I’ll hole up like a bookworm in my office at Caltech if that would make things easier.” I try on a weak smile, hoping to lighten his mood. “I’m good at doing that anyway.”
“I’m going to call my lawyer and have him review Caltech campus trespassing policy. For now, after you arrive home, I’d like Nikko to stay nearby until we have a better grip on the situation. You two can exchange numbers, and if you’re willing, it would be much easier if you let him know your plans—where you want to go and when—so he can better keep you safe.”
I’m starting to get overwhelmed again all of a sudden.
I have to let Nikko know wherever I plan to go? Always?
What if I just want to go for a walk? Can I even do that anymore?
My throat is tightening, and now it’s my turn to be soothed as Ben tugs me against him and winds his hand up around my neck, behind my hair, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “We’ll figure it out. Don’t let this ruin the last few days.”
I keep quiet and he turns his attention to his phone, presumably so he can contact his lawyer. The rest of our ride together is spent working out logistics.
At the private airport, Ben’s driver and Nikko both get out of the car. Ben and I have a quick moment of privacy and Ben takes full advantage, turning toward me and cupping my jaw gently. I reach up to hold his wrist in place and suddenly, all the chaos surrounding us quiets. It feels incredibly simple when it’s just us, like this.
“I still can’t believe you’re back in my life,” he says, watching his thumb as it brushes back and forth along my lip. “I’m worried to leave you.”
I frown. “Nothing will happen while you’re gone. I’ll do exactly what you asked of me.”
“It’s not so much that…”
Realization suddenly dawns on me and I smile, tilting my head into his hand so he can feel the weight of my words. “I won’t disappear on you again. You have my phone number this time, and you know right where to find me.”
He doesn’t smile, and I sense then just how much the last year and a half affected him. It’s hard to imagine he was as tormented as I was, but I see it now.
At a loss for how to comfort him, I lean forward and kiss him with slow tenderness. Ben’s hand weaves into my hair as his tongue slides into my mouth. My stomach quivers as desire blazes through me. I long for more. Closer. Deeper. His hands on me everywhere. Knuckles rap lightly on the window behind Ben and we break apart, blushing like school kids.
“Duty calls,” he says with a lopsided smile as he leans back, slowly untangling his hand from my hair.
I nod, and he turns to get out. Just before he closes the door behind him, he leans back in and steals one more kiss. “I’ll text you when I land.”
The ride to Caltech is quiet without Ben. The driver meets my eyes in the rearview mirror and smiles kindly. I lean forward a little.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name before.”
“Hermann,” he says with a reverent dip of his head.
“Hermann,” I repeat with a smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”
After our introduction, we lapse back into silence. Truthfully, I’m slightly uncomfortable with this entire setup. I’ve never had a driver before. I’m not used to being waited on. I’m the one who’s always done the waiting, and now I have to adjust to the idea of sitting quietly in the back seat of a sleek SUV as these two men escort me around Los Angeles.
When we hit bumper-to-bumper traffic and slow down to a standstill, I grimace and fidget in my seat, wishing I could just get out and walk the rest of the way.
“I’m sorry y’all are having to take me all the way out to Pasadena.”
I will the cars in front of us to magically disappear off the road. You’d think the highway would be clear on a Sunday morning, but this is Los Angeles, the traffic capital of the country.
