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“I think you said everything you needed to last night.”
He didn’t look at her when he spoke. He had given up on that after the first few minutes. That warmth she had seen in his eyes so many times was gone. That tiny smile she had elicited on occasion was wiped clean. The wonderful man his mother would have been proud of had gone back into his shell, and it was all her fault.
“I was upset. I had just lost a major deal and I didn’t know how to handle it. I freaked out…on you…and for that I’m sorry.”
“No apologies. We knew what this was from the very beginning. I got my license back. I don’t need a chauffeur anymore.”
If she was honest she would admit that she only propositioned him so that she could pursue the unspoken connection between them. So she threw herself at him in the most subtle way she could and it had worked. For a short while anyways.
“Are you sure about that? Seems to me when you’re left to your own devices you do stupid things.”
“I’m positive, sweetheart.”
He hadn’t called her sweetheart, in a derogatory way, since that night he discovered her at the race. That Neil Harrison, the one she was desperately attracted to but wanted to stab in the eye with her number three pencil, was back. Somewhere between her condo last night and this hospital room, he had relapsed. He was no longer the sweet, determined, sexy man she had grown to love.
“Look, we’ve been over this before. Our work together is done. Our private deal is no longer necessary. I told my brothers everything. They’ll be there if I need them.”
“What if I changed my mind?”
She’d never seen such a dumbfounded look like he’d just been stunned with a Taser.
“You have nothing to say?”
She may want to carve her own path when it comes to her career and she knew all about ambition, but there was more to life than blind want. After all these years, since her mother’s death, she’d just wanted someone to love her. And Neil was too obsessed with paying back a woman who would have never wanted to him to be alone. But she knew when she wasn’t wanted.
She stood from the seat and turned, taking two steps toward the door, but a large hand wrapped around her arm.
“Carson, wait. I…”
She whirled around, hoping against hope he would say the words. “You what?”
His shoulders slumped forward and his eyes dropped to the blanket. “I can’t put you first.”
Those weren’t the words. Those were in fact the exact opposite of the words she wanted to hear. Taking a deep breath, she stood her ground. “And I can’t be with a man who loves his work more than he loves me. Someone who’s willing to let every important relationship implode without realizing it’s even gone.”
“Work is all I have.” His eyes watered. It was the meds making him emotional. “This is the one thing in the world that gives me purpose.”
“Wrong again.” She sighed. He was such an idiot. “It’s not your work that gives you purpose. It’s what your work allows you to do. You spend all of this time and energy helping teenagers, raising funds for charity, and you don’t even see the good you bring to this world.”
She turned away. It was too hard looking at him.
“Carson, don’t leave.”
“Here we are again. One of us asking the other to stay.” She looked over her shoulder right into his eyes. “But will you give me what I want?”
When his eyes darted to the window, it was all the answer she needed.
Chapter Eleven
Carson stood at the edge of the outdoor patio looking out over the pond. The sound of the water from the waterwheel hitting the stillness below was soothing.
The summer evening was warm and humid, but a cool breeze caressed her bare shoulders making it bearable. The mosquitos, on the other hand, were not so bearable.
She turned to look through the concave window that fit across the building from one edge to the next. The kitchen sparkled in the background, the open concept even visible from the patio. Exactly what Neil had envisioned. Three rows of tables spread out along the width of the building, each one on its own riser enabling every
guest no matter what table they sat at to have a view of the pond. The semi-circular shape of the restaurant provided an intimate atmosphere.
The slate-topped outdoor tables lined the wood and rod iron railing. Dark teak chairs complimented the tables.
