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“Yeah, well, she just wants the best for you. Tangents and all.”
Cal hung his head. “I know.”
“And the fact is, the adding and subtracting part has come in pretty handy. So maybe adults actually know what they’re talking about.” He winked. “And we should have at least listened.”
Finn could practically see the gears turning in the boy’s head. “I guess. Maybe.”
“We all fuck up. Jack went on a wild rampage screwing everything he could get his hands on. And even ones he couldn’t.” Cal choked out a laugh. “Neil has a sex tape.” Finn smiled when Cal made a grossed-out face. “And Cole, well, he refuses to grab hold of something right in front of his face and finally be happy.”
He hoped one day both Cole and Penn would realize life is too short to waste it fighting with the one you love.
“And you failed grade twelve math.” Cal didn’t seem overly impressed with Finn’s emotionally insignificant failure.
“Yes, but I also fucked up with your sister.” He’d agreed to a casual arrangement against his better judgment thinking they would both come out unscathed. But he’d only caused her tears.
“I know.” Cal went serious. “She’s been moping around for the last few days. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for upsetting her.”
Finn had never respected him more than in that moment. “I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself.”
“Do you love her?” Cal asked without turning his attention from the counter.
It was a long, complicated answer. But Finn figured he deserved to hear it.
“I was given away at infancy. I had a heart condition. No one wants to adopt a sick baby. I spent the first fifteen years of my life walking on eggshells, trying to be perfect and no bother, hoping someone, anyone, might adopt me. And then Vivian came along, and my brothers, and it was amazing. But I’ve come to realize that I spent the next fifteen years walking on eggshells trying to keep the peace in my adopted family. If we were all perfect and there was no drama, no bother, then there was no reason for Vivian to give us back. No reason for her to think she made a mistake taking us in.” He smiled wryly. “Sound familiar?”
Cal looked stricken. He swore under his breath.
“But where you decided to become an asshole as your defense, I chose to become what everyone else expected of me.” Finn leaned forward and let his palms rest on the counter. “The last couple of weeks, with Veronica and a few other things, that’s been kind of an experiment in finally doing what makes me happy, not what makes my brothers happy.”
“Having sex with Veronica makes you happy?”
“There’s a lot more to it than sex, Cal. But the simple answer is yes. And thanks to your sister, I’m not walking on eggshells anymore.” He didn’t realize that until this very moment.
“What are you guys going to do?”
“There’s nothing to do. We want different lives. It wouldn’t work out long term.”
Cal jerked forward in his seat. “Aren’t you even going to try? I’ve never seen her happier than the last couple of weeks.”
“You have a lot to learn when it comes to women, buddy. They want what they want. And your sister has made up her mind about me. No matter what I do, she has to be the one to change. I can’t force her.”
Although Finn agreed with the kid, he knew Veronica’s happiness had nothing to do with him. Veronica had been building the foundation of her new life, being more adventurous, owning her sexuality. Sex with Finn had only been a small component.
Besides, he had to think of the long term. Without a compatible vision for the future, the happiness they felt now would eventually turn into resentment and regret.
Chapter Thirteen
“Cole, today is your lucky day.”
Finn watched impassively from across the table as Cole listened to Jack’s words.
“The accountant said your idea is doable if we are strict with funding and find one more investor.” Jack, fresh off his acceptance speech for his Young Philanthropists Award, rustled a few pieces of paper on the table in front of him.
And then there was Neil, who sat to Finn’s left. He was clutching a copy of Architecture magazine to his chest—the issue that included the feature on Neil and Carson and the Madewood Farm project. Visionary and magnificent. Those were the only two words Finn remembered from when Neil read the article aloud as they’d waited for Gloria. Three times.
They had all gathered at Bistro this morning to go over the revised idea for Cole’s proposal for a Madewood Boys and Girls Club.
Cole smacked the table so the silverware jumped. “So, then we vote.” He raised a hand. “All in favor of the foundation backing the implementation of the Madewood Boys and Girls Club.”
