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“I bought everything yesterday. I thought…” Her eyes lowered to the bed.
“You don’t need any of this stuff.” I grabbed the oil out of her hand. “I don’t need any of this stuff.”
“Oh!” Once again, as if a lightbulb came on, she dropped to her knees. “I know what you want.” She was determined, and wiggled her way between my legs.
“Everly, what are you doing?”
“Giving you something I haven’t done nearly as often as I should have.”
She fidgeted with the buckle of my belt, and I loved the feel of her tiny hands on my pelvis and her breasts pressed against my thighs.
She looked into my eyes just as her tongue ran along her bottom lip, and my dick twitched. Fuck. I hesitated, only for a moment, because I knew exactly how good her lips felt around my cock, but I shook it off.
“Stop.” I grabbed her hand, but she continued to battle with my belt. “Please stop.”
She sank back and rested her bottom on her heels. “I don’t understand.” Her hands came up and she hid her face in them. Mumbling around her fingers, she said, “You don’t think I’m sexy.” She hiccupped. “You think I can’t please you.”
“What are you talking about?” I pulled her hands away. Tears gathered around her eyes and I wiped them away. “I still want you. More than I’ve wanted any other woman.”
“Then why won’t you let me give you what you want? This is what you want, isn’t it?”
And with only a few words, my heart sank to my stomach. The one woman in the world I thought was different, the one woman who I’d thought had seen past the character, hadn’t seen anything at all.
“Do you think if I was that guy I would have made love to you in missionary position? Do you think I would have used a condom?”
Maybe it didn’t matter that I didn’t have Levin blood running through my veins. Nurture had obviously worked its magic on me. I had taken on the role so well.
For the last four days I’d questioned my existence, my role as a man and a son. But Everly was proving that I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t walk away. I couldn’t start over. I would always be that guy. The guy who exploited women. The guy who sold human flesh like it was beef. The guy who saw women as nothing more than an outlet for my sexual desires.
With my heart shattered, I checked out. If Everly Parker, the nice girl who actually took the time to get to know me thought I was that guy, then who was I kidding? No one would ever think differently.
I might as well give her what she wanted.
I got up and stood in front of the chest at the end of the bed. “Get on your knees.”
She let out a quick gasp. Was she expecting me to stop her? Tell her I wasn’t that guy? After all this time, if she couldn’t figure that out on her own, then what was the point?
“I’m ready. Give me what I want.” I had no idea how I was maintaining a hard-on, but it was there.
Happiness had reached her eyes again. She stared at my crotch as she crawled over. Was she working out how she was going to do it? How she was going to please me. We might as well throw her plans out the window, because I was calling the shots. I’d control the suction of her mouth, the strength of her jerks, and the timing of her licks.
Because that’s what porn guys did.
When she was close enough, I reached down and pulled her breasts out from the cups of her bra. I pinched a nipple and she squeaked.
“Take out my cock.”
She was into this. For now. She finished what she’d started with my pants and let them fall to the floor, pooling around my ankles.
My cock bobbed against my stomach when she licked her lips. I guess the mind had the ability to tune out the sadness, because my cock was good to go. My brain, on the other hand, was waging war with my heart and conscience.
I grabbed her hair and she gasped.
I did everything I could think of that would give her the porn experience she’d been expecting. I made her stick out her tongue and slapped my cock against it. I thrust it inside her mouth and pulled it out to the side, slapped it against her cheeks, her breasts. All of it. Then, what porn blow job wouldn’t be complete without some deep throating.
“Open.”
I let my shaft slide against her tongue as I made my way inside. I didn’t shove it all the way in. Not at first. I took my time, moving in and out slowly, taking more of her mouth each time. But with every thrust inside her mouth, my heart broke a little more.
