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I’m fucking Max Levin.
And I can do anything.
Maybe it was my own insecurities standing in my way of taking over. Of believing that I could find a nice girl to settle down with, someone I could love. Someone who would love me back, because that’s what I had grown up believing. But somehow, the industry had tainted that belief. So did the stereotypes. Yet Everly saw the real me. She saw behind the facade and deep into my soul.
“If you’ll excuse us,” Everly said, taking my hand in hers. “We have some nasty sex to have in the bathroom.” She placed her wineglass on the bar and we walked out together.
With Everly by my side, I left that party with my head high, and my spirit at ease.
We brushed past her mother and father on our way out, but we didn’t stop. In fact, we didn’t stop until we were ten blocks away and standing in front of the Concord.
Once we were inside the privacy of the penthouse, I pulled her close. “I’m sorry I made a scene.”
She looked up, tears filling her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t…I thought they’d be…”
I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “It’s all right. I’m used to it.”
But I wasn’t. Not really. Every time some asshole took a shot at me, or my family, it made the hole that much bigger. I was sick of letting it roll off my back.
I stepped away, pulling my arms free of my jacket and throwing it on the couch. “You know what, I’m not used to it.” I paced the room, from one end of the living area to the other, wearing out a line on the mahogany floor. “I’m more than dildos and cum shots.” I continued my tiny rant. “I’m more than the son of a porn star and a porn producer.” I stopped, looking up at Everly, who seemed a little out of sorts. “I’m more than that.”
At least I wanted to be more. Spending all this time with Everly made me believe that I could be more. But the one thing I never expected to feel about it was guilt. “And I feel awful.” I slumped into the middle of the couch. “If it was good enough for my dad, why not me?”
Everly stood by the window and in the soft light that sprinkled in, she looked beautiful. The most beautiful she’d ever been. She was here, in my home, and I was baring my soul. Instead of running away. She walked closer, sitting her tight, perfect ass on the edge of the couch.
“I’m ashamed. Ashamed that I want more, to be more, do more. This isn’t the life I wanted, it was the life I was given.”
“I know exactly how you feel.” She placed her hand on my cheek. “I struggle with that every damn day.” She pressed a kiss to my cheek, then my forehead. “You have nothing to be ashamed about. I’m sure your father would understand. He doesn’t seem as unreasonable as my parents.”
“He’d be devastated. He’s always telling me he built the company for me, so that I could build a legacy. I couldn’t stand to hurt his feelings.”
“That’s a lot of pressure.”
“I know you feel it, too. I know you don’t want your future as much as I don’t want mine.”
She sucked in a breath and her body went rigid. When she opened her mouth to speak, nothing came out. I was a shit head. I had no right to make judgments about her life.
I hadn’t intended to have a heart-to-heart once we got to my place. I had planned on getting her naked and in my bed within ten seconds of walking through the door. My plan had been foiled by my own pathetic feelings.
“If you didn’t work for your father, do you know what you would do?”
I nodded. I looked around the penthouse. The exquisite view. The cream walls and wood floors. I thought of the lobby, and the remodel I would do. I thought of the club, and how there were so many things I could do to get people in the doors. Ben had been right. No one knew how to sell luxury better than I did. I’d lived my whole life in the lap of it. So why not capitalize on that?
But I had to slow down those hopes. It was just so preposterous. Besides, I wasn’t ready to talk about my dream out loud.
“And…” she coaxed.
“Can I just keep that to myself for now?”
We sat in silence, until she broke it by changing the subject. “So this is your humble abode.”
She walked to the floor-to-ceiling window. The Concord was only twelve stories high. It was a boutique hotel, not a chain, and its intimate size was part of its appeal. Even though we weren’t high enough to get the best view of the skyline, there was just enough space in between the buildings across the street to see the lake and shimmering moonlight.
I approached from behind and wrapped my arms around her. She turned in my grip. “This place is beautiful, but what about you? It doesn’t tell me anything about you.”
I shrugged. “It’s not supposed to.” I kissed her forehead. “This place is fine for what it is, and maybe it won’t be for much longer.”
“That’s pretty cryptic. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
