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A few weeks ago, knowing that my best friend was about to get some would have sparked my own sexual desires. I would have promptly taken care of it myself or found a means to occupy my time. But since I’d started hanging out with Ben, I hadn’t picked up my knitting. In fact, I hadn’t had to resort to any of the frivolous projects and activities I had been forced to endure simply because I was restless and trying to take the edge off.
For the first time in a long while, I was content. I was satisfied. And it was more than the fact that I was having regular orgasms that involved another human being. Over the last three years, I had lost sight of the present, too focused on getting to where I needed to go, and forgetting myself in the process. Spending time with Ben had somehow uncovered the girl I used to be. The girl who didn’t have to think about how she was going to pay for school, help her family, or simply survive. Without those things weighing me down, I had room to be me. Funny how I’d set out to help him conquer his fear of public speaking, and he’d ended up helping me instead.
But I couldn’t let myself get too caught up in Ben’s laid-back, live-in-the-now attitude. I couldn’t let myself get too close. I needed a partner who had a vision of where he wanted to be, and Ben didn’t have his future mapped out at all.
I slumped beside the door to Max’s office and stared ahead at the beige wall. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever find the man who could look past my sexual history and focus on the present, on my plans for the future, and the life I wanted to build for myself—the man I would eventually love.
Everly had found true love with Max. I loved her with all my heart. She was my best friend. But right now, I hated her guts.
Because never had my own happily ever after seemed so out of reach.
Ben
Hirsh had missed another meeting.
I was starting to take it personally. To feel slighted. Could I be doing such a piss-poor job that he didn’t even want to waste his time with me?
I was keeping everything on track. As best I could. But it obviously wasn’t good enough.
Though as the day went on, I had less and less time to think about his blatant disregard for the work I was doing.
I’d called in some reinforcements to make Cory’s day a little less administrative and a lot more hands-on. So here we were, in my office—two porn stars, the vice president, and the intern, filming an alien love story Cory had written in high school.
“I don’t think my character would have sex with an alien,” Rod said as he rounded the couch in my office.
I had called in a favor and invited Rod and Amie to the office, our most popular male star and a new starlet I knew was going to skyrocket to fan favorite in no time.
“I…” Cory stuttered a few more words, but backed down immediately when Rod interrupted.
“I mean, he’s a warrior, tasked with defending the fate of the world, and you have him screwing a green goblin while everything is falling apart.”
The porn star opting not to have sex? Interesting development.
I thought it would be fitting for us to film the love scene simply because it was what Rod and Amie were already used to.
Rod took a seat on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees so his hands could swing between his legs. “I just don’t see how there is time for this when the bad guys are on their way to destroy the galaxy.”
Cory nodded in agreement and returned to the camera. I knew he didn’t agree. I saw it in the tension in his shoulders. I saw it in his eyes. But he’d backed down based on the sheer size of Rod. Understandable, considering Rod made the most alpha of men cower. And at nineteen years old, Cory had hardly come into his own.
But Rod didn’t scare me.
“Hold up.” I walked over to Cory and pulled him aside. “Lesson number one when dealing with actors, your way is the right way.” He lowered his eyes to the ground, but I placed my hand on his shoulder and returned his attention to my face. “You’re the director. This is your script, your vision. Sometimes an actor can be right and get you to see something from a different angle, but if your gut is telling you one way, stick to it. Don’t let the actors bully you.”
Cory nodded, yet I knew he still wasn’t confident enough to stick to his vision.
“The biggest thing you need to have is trust with your actors. If they trust you, they’ll go to the ends of the earth for you. Or in my case…” I stepped back and crossed my arms over my chest. “…try double anal.”
Cory burst out laughing. I hadn’t seen that smile since Rod and Amie had shown up. “A girl definitely needs to trust you in order to do that.”
I may not have the education, but I had enough workplace experience to know that going with your gut was always the right way. And forging relationships with your actors was a big part of the job.
“You ready to stick to your guns?”
Cory took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders and gathering his courage. “Okay, Rod,” he yelled over my shoulder then sidestepped around me. “This is the moment we get to see your character in a vulnerable position. Sex isn’t just sex here. It’s a reminder of everything he has to lose if he doesn’t succeed.”
Directing wasn’t just about getting a certificate. A lot of it was dealing with expectations. Handling personalities. If Cory wanted to be a director, he could know every term in his first year textbook, but if he didn’t know how to placate, he’d be dead in the water on his first real job.
“Okay, kid.” Rod ruffled his hair. “Let’s have some sex.”
