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“You’re here to congratulate me. That’s why you’re here?”
“Yes.”
“Thanks.” Why did he even think there was a possibility that she could be here for more than that? “You’ve said your congratulations. I’ll see you around.” He nodded and walked away.
He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t stand around making small talk, avoiding the pink elephant on the pavement.
“Where are you going so fast?”
He stopped and turned around to face her. “I have to pick up my bike, walk to my car, and then I’m going home.”
“Can I walk with you to your car?” Her jitters gave away her nervousness. If it wasn’t her teeth gnawing at her bottom lip that tipped him off it was her eyes. They stared at him with indecision and fear.
“All right. I’ll meet you at that entrance over there.” He pointed off to the left.
She nodded and made her way to their meeting spot.
The exit to the street was swarming with people, racers, supporters, staff and medics. The flurry of everyone around him slowed him down. Five minutes ago he just wanted to get home. Now, he bobbed and weaved around the crowds, trying to get back to Martina as fast as he could.
He didn’t know what kind of game she was playing but he was happy to see her. After all this time she still had to ability to make him fall to his knees.
She waited just outside the gate. Despite how wonderful and hopeful her appearance might be he couldn’t help but keep his distance.
“My car is just up the street.”
She followed him, a half step behind. When they turned the corner, the buzzing of the crowd faded into the background.
Neither of them spoke. He didn’t know what to say that hadn’t already been said. It was a good thing too, because having her in such close proximity again had his body reacting in an inappropriate yet all too familiar way.
The sound of her heels hitting the pavement echoed over the gentle click of his bike rolling across the sidewalk. It tamped down any sexual need that might have surfaced. The sounds felt like a hard jab to his gut.
His anger bubbled up inside. He never did get to unleash his rage. They fucked and then he left. Just the way she wanted it. He regretted that decision every day, but he knew he couldn’t force her to stay. Now she was back. Now she was on his turf.
“Why are you here, Martina?” He couldn’t help the stern tone his voice took on. Maybe even angry.
“I told you–”
“I heard you the first time. To congratulate me. Why are you really here?”
He looked both ways before he stepped off the curb and crossed the street. His car was parked on the opposite side. The black sport utility was so inviting, a safe haven away from the sadness and anger she brought with her.
She lagged behind, avoiding his question. When he reached the car he rested the bike against the hatch door then he turned to her, he didn’t have enough strength to fight.
“Martina, you made your choice two months ago. I’m tired and irritable, and I don’t feel like fighting with you.”
“I’m not here to fight.”
“Good.”
She was nervous, fidgety. She barely made eye contact. He was going to have to brush her off nicely.
“I don’t know if I can be friends yet. I still need some time. If you’re here for some friendly banter and laughs, I think you better go back to California.”
“I don’t live in California.”
“Still living your nomadic life. Where do you live now?”
“Toronto.”
