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Banner wiped at them with his hand, then looked around for a box o
f tissues. They were the miniscule square ones made from the sandpaper reject pile, so he used the edge of the sheet to dry Rook’s face instead.
“I tried to make myself throw up right after I did it, but I didn’t know how. The finger thing didn’t work.”
For some reason, that was a partial relief. Maybe he’d never do it again. They’d have to be careful and watch him.
“If you had died, I would have strangled you.” Banner wiped his own wet face with the hem of his T-shirt.
Rook squeezed his hand. “I know. I thought of how mad you would be, but only when it was too late. At the time, I kept thinking it would make your life easier.”
All of Banner’s manly reserve gave out. He carefully crushed the boy to him, as if holding him close would erase the past few hours. “If you ever think that again, just call me instead of trying to guess. You’re my best friend, jerkface. Who would I talk to about the meaning of the universe, and art, and our crazy family, and my problems with women if you ditched me?” He bumped Rook’s forehead with his own.
Banner got onto Rook’s bed and laid beside him. They stared at the ceiling in silence. He didn’t know what to say. But more than that, he was afraid of saying the wrong things.
Rook spoke first. “Meadow said you brought a date.”
“I did.” Banner grimaced. “I probably owe her a real date after this.”
“No shit. I’m sorry if I ruined things with her.” There was an edge of despondence in his voice, but he covered it with teasing. “Is this the one you’ve been whining about for months?”
“Yeah.” He thought about Kate sitting in the other room, and anticipation spread through him. Was she actually interested in their relationship being long term?
Hopefully, this hadn’t scared her off, but Rook came first in his life, and she needed to know that.
“I’m sorry I’ve been so distracted. I should have figured out what was going on with you without having to be told.”
“You’re my brother, not a mind reader, my keeper, or my therapist.” Rook was quiet for a while, as though he’d dozed off. Banner was surprised when he spoke again. “Mom seems different today.”
“I think you woke her up.”
“Maybe. We’ll see if it sticks.” Rook stared down the bed at their legs, side by side. Banner knew it used to bother Rook that he was so small compared to himself. He hoped he wasn’t dwelling on something that silly now.
He could feel himself dozing off, the lack of sleep and the ebbing of adrenaline finally hitting him.
“Banner?”
He startled awake.
“What?”
“I know this is a weird time to mention it, but don’t wear leather pants. They make you look like a moron.”
Chapter 19
Walking into Banner’s house felt as though she were coming home after a long day of work. As Kate stepped into the foyer, it overwhelmed her with memories and comfort. It smelled like him.
The door shut behind them, and she spun to face Banner. His eyes were bloodshot, and he hadn’t said much more than a few words on the ride home. He looked exhausted.
Her nerves were fried too. So many emotions swirled in her head, making her brain hurt. No amount of professional distance could keep her safe from the onslaught of emotions that had been in that waiting room. This wasn’t a client, this was the man she loved. He was her first priority.
“Thank you,” he rasped. “For everything tonight. I know it wasn’t pleasant for you, but I’m glad you were with me.”
She hadn’t done anything, really. The whole ordeal had been a family thing, so she’d kept her head down and stayed out of the way. She’d brought coffee and food to anyone who looked as though they needed it and sat next to Banner while he waited for his next turn to see his brother. Konstantin and Ambrose had seemed better equipped to help him through this, and they at least had some relationship with his family. But he’d still held on to her as if he were drowning.
“Anyone would’ve done the same,” she mumbled.
He nodded sadly. “You should go home and get some sleep.”
