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Dread curdled his already-roiling belly.
He thought about t
he multimillion-dollar deal he was in the middle of negotiating and realized it meant nothing to him. They could wait, or they could shove their money up their asses.
His woman needed him.
Chapter Fifteen
Varushka paced a path in front of the bathroom, gnawing on the inside of her cheek. She’d been pacing so long that her footprints made indents on the stained carpet of the hallway.
The package said to wait five minutes after peeing on the stick. It’d been at least twenty minutes but she couldn’t bring herself to look at it. She’d been so emotional for the past few days she hadn’t realized she was supposed to have her period a week ago. That morning, she’d worked up the courage to head to the drugstore and buy a pregnancy test. Although she’d taken a cab to the next town she still felt like everyone knew. She hadn’t been able to stop trembling since.
Icy terror flooded through her. She walked back into the bathroom and stared at the little white stick—a cheap plastic thing that could change her life forever. She wished Konstantin was there with her. Her eyes watered. They should be doing this together and instead he was halfway across the world. The “what-ifs” had been circling her mind since waking up nauseated, then counting back the days to her last period. What if Konstantin decided life was better without her? What if he didn’t want a baby? What if she was pregnant and all alone?
She gave her head a shake. One step at a time. Through blurred vision, she gazed down at the test. There, clearly marked in blue, was a plus sign.
Pregnant.
Funny it should be in the shape of a cross. Her stomach twisted and her body suddenly felt heavy and numb. She didn’t think she could move from that spot, staring down at the test, even if her house caught fire.
Pregnant.
With Konstantin’s baby. She pictured a little bundle with his dark eyes—or maybe her red hair—and a giggle escaped. Her hands went protectively onto her belly, where she rubbed in soothing circles, as if the baby could feel it, as if it would know the depth of her love.
Love? No. Pregnant was bad. Wasn’t it? Her father would find out what she’d done. Her family, her village. If Konstantin didn’t come back for her, they’d know her shame. She’d be shunned from the church. What would Papa say? More tears spilled over onto her cheeks, falling down onto the counter where the test sat.
Even though life as she knew it was over, she felt an overwhelming sense of joy. A baby was growing in her belly. Her baby.
Her sobs turned to laughter and she felt half-mad. Maybe Mama was right to send her to the hospital. She was more than a little crazy. Though at least now she knew why. There was a reason her emotions had been out of control. A tiny miracle was wreaking havoc on her life. She laughed harder.
A little troublemaker already.
He’d take after Konstantin. Or maybe not a he. Maybe it was a girl. She thought about pink dresses and baby shoes and braiding hair like Mama had when Varushka was small.
She fought back the urge to rush to the phone to tell Konstantin. How was this possible? Even the times she was sure he hadn’t used a condom, she’d found out afterward that he had. He’d been so careful. He was going to be so disappointed. Or maybe he’d want the baby. When she’d talked to him about children he hadn’t wanted lots, but he had agreed to some. It was early in their relationship for this, but maybe he’d marry her so the child wouldn’t be without a father.
No. She didn’t want that. She didn’t want to be someone’s obligation. Konstantin was everything to her and she wanted to be someone’s everything in return.
She gazed down at her belly. No. He wasn’t everything anymore. She didn’t look any different from this morning but suddenly everything had changed. Was her belly bigger already? And her skin paler? She needed vitamins. And food! She’d better start eating more. A skinny bird couldn’t carry a baby safely.
Grinning madly, she picked up the stick, then turned toward the door. She gasped and froze in place. Mama stood just outside the bathroom, her head cocked to the side as she stared at Varushka.
“What are you . . .” Mama’s gaze dropped to the pregnancy test in her hand then her eyes widened. “Varushka!”
“Shh!” She checked the hallway but it was empty so she pulled Mama inside the bathroom. It was too late to hide the evidence now but maybe she could implore Mama not to tell anyone. Not until she got things settled with Konstantin anyway.
Mama closed the door behind her then grabbed Varushka’s wrist to look at the test. Varushka braced herself for yelling, shaming, and possibly being dragged to confession.
She looked hesitantly in Mama’s eyes and saw . . . tears? Then she broke out into a wide smile. “I’m going to be a babushka,” she said, almost questioning.
Varushka nodded.
Mama pulled her into her arms and squeezed her so hard she couldn’t breathe. “Oh, Varushka! What a wonderful blessing!”
They both spilled tears on each other’s shoulders as they laughed and cried together. “You’re not mad?” Varushka asked her.
“No!” Her mother pulled away then gripped her shoulders. “How could I be mad about a baby?” She sobered an instant later. “This will fix things with Papa. He can’t forbid you to marry the father of your child. Have you told Konstantin?”
