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“Obviously, you weren’t considering this.”
“I love you. I love Beau. Why on earth would I turn you down?” She brushed a kiss along his cheek. “You just surprised me.”
Yuck. No. It felt like she was just being nice to spare his feelings.
He didn’t want a “yes” that she wasn’t really feeling. It was a shitty way to go into a marriage. He’d just have to be patient and earn her “yes,” and maybe not surprise the hell out of her the next time.
“Just . . . forget it for now. I just got caught up—I rushed things,” he said, kissing her gently even though he felt sad and may be a bit betrayed. Rejected, even though he knew he was being stupid. “It can wait.”
But what if waiting didn’t make a difference?
They were practically living together as it was, and she treated Beau with as much affection as he ever could hope for in a partner, but for some reason his mind had settled on getting married as soon as possible—as if it were more permanent—even though he knew better. Maybe it was just another way to bind her to him and make sure she wouldn’t leave.
Like his own mother. Like Bethany.
He sighed, aggravated with himself and his own insecurity.
He kissed her, trying to let her know it was fine, but she was looking more worried than relieved. Too soon. She hadn’t been ready yet.
Hell, he had all the time in the world. He could wait her out.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Juliet bounced baby Leo on her knee, loving the way it made him giggle as she sang one of their favorite childhood rhymes to him. Beau liked that song too.
Thinking about her brought an emotional pang Juliet was starting to realize might never go away. Somehow, the baby she kept swearing she didn’t want to parent had been her on her mind almost as much as Beau’s daddy over the past two days. She’d texted back and forth with Will nonstop, like usual, but she hadn’t actually seen them in person. He kept coming up with excuses for her not to drop by. She’d hurt him and didn’t know how to fix it.
Sadie smacked her arm. “You have to be the only woman in the history of the world to look that depressed about the man you love proposing to you. He’s hot, he’s sexy, he’s sweet, he’s rich. Boohoo. Cry me a river, Juliet.”
Juliet sighed, feeling appropriately ridiculous. “I just wish he would have held off a little longer. I didn’t give him the reaction he wanted because I wasn’t expecting it, and now I think he’s all offended.”
“Typical man. You just have to convince him you really meant your yes—that is, if you really meant it.”
Sadie was lying on the floor with Eli sound asleep on her chest. Trapped, but happily trapped, like Juliet would be if she’d given Will a more convincing yes.
“If you remind him you want to see Europe, you know he’ll take you, and you won’t be staying in hostels either. And if you’re worried about all of the extra work that comes with parenting, you already do all that shit here for me. What’s the difference? I know you love him. I know you love that baby. You need to stop being a doofus and get yo
ur ass over there and convince him.”
“I don’t know if I can convince him. You should have seen his face.” She swallowed at a lump in her throat, but it didn’t go away. “Maybe he was right. Maybe my hesitation meant something.”
“Ha!” The sound burst from Sadie, startling Eli and possibly Sadie herself. She gave a little chuckle and rolled her eyes.
“I don’t get why he wants to get married anyway. Living together is good enough.”
“I guess he wants more.”
“But . . . how am I supposed to be sure that marriage is for me? What if I’m a shitty mother? What if I’m a shitty wife? What if he turns into an asshat once we get settled into our relationship?”
“When it comes to the big stuff—the important life stuff—you’ll never know it’s the right decision because there’s no such thing. Sometimes you just have to close your eyes and jump. You can overthink it forever and a day, but then all you’re doing is wasting your life when you could be living it.”
“Are you trying to tell me you’ve had second thoughts about Scott?” she asked, not believing it. They were so happy and perfect together—like her and Sadie’s parents.
Her sister snorted. “It’s not like you say yes to someone and never question your decision again. I can tell you right now I was seriously questioning my judgment this morning when he vacuumed up a pacifier and broke the vacuum cleaner—he didn’t even bother checking under the couch. It’s the third vacuum he’s broken in a year!” She rolled her eyes. “What it comes down to is even when he’s being a dumbass, he’s my dumbass. Good or bad, I’m sticking with him because he’s a good man, he can make me laugh, he’s an awesome dad. Oh, and he’s none too shabby in the bedroom . . .”
She sighed dreamily, and Juliet made a gagging noise, which made Leo laugh.
Her sister grabbed Juliet’s foot and squeezed reassuringly. “The few things about him that drive me crazy are completely buried under the huge pile of things he’s got going for him. I think it’ll be the same with Will.”
