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Oh.
“The lie would have been more believable if they hadn’t also gotten married a few months after I left.”
He cleared his throat, still trying to figure out how her ex could have chosen anyone over Dex.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not,” she said stiffly. “I crawled for that man. I groveled. I did everything he ever asked me to do—I would have died for him, and that was the loyalty I got? He fucked my best friend—the woman I called my sister—and took her as a submissive. Then he married her. He never, never offered to marry me.” She made a small choking noise. “I lost the three most important people in my life in less than two months.”
“That was so fucking shitty of them,” he said, turning finally. He wanted to pull her into his arms, but she didn’t look like she wanted to be touched right then. “What did you do?”
“I stayed with a friend for a few nights, then moved my stuff out. The day I left, Mia was at work, and Nigel explained he was in love with us both. Like I could agree to be poly and share him with a woman who was practically my sister?” She shuddered in revulsion. “Although he did mention he didn’t need both of us in bed with him at the same time, it was his preference.”
“Did you hit him?”
“I threw my boot at him. Steel-toe. I’m sure it left a spectacular bruise.” Her eyes were red-rimmed, but she hadn’t shed a tear. “It was juvenile, but I can’t say I was thinking straight.”
“No shit.”
“So that’s when I moved east and met Andromeda. She put me back together, but we weren’t a good match, since she wasn’t big on bratting, and I refused the collar she offered me. I finished my fourth year of university online and you guys opened Catacombs just as I got the small business loan for Evil Pixie, and here we are.” She gestured at the room.
“In northern Canada?”
“Precisely.” She laughed, as though it was as ridiculous and unexpected to her as it was to him. “I could be a pseudo sister wife right now, but instead I’m cowering from a horde of evil zombie mosquitoes with the hottest guy I’ve ever met.” She reached over and gave his shoulder an affectionate shove, but before she could pull away he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his lap.
“What are you doing?” she asked, laughing.
“Hugging you.”
“I don’t need a hug,” she said, settling against him as though she had no intention of getting off his lap ever again.
“Well, I need a hug.” He tucked her head under his chin and inhaled her familiar scent, feeling even more fiercely protective of her. How was it possible for the two people she loved most to have betrayed her so horribly? It wasn’t fair. “I never would have done that to you.”
“I don’t think Nigel ever anticipated doing that to me either. It wasn’t like he was a douchy guy—like, ever—other than for that. There was just something about Mia he couldn’t resist. Now, I feel like if that could happen between them, it could happen between anyone. Why accept another Dominant when I’d constantly wonder when they’d suddenly find their one true submissive, or whatever? Why do that to myself?”
Oh. Fuck.
“But that could happen with any relationship, Arabella. Most people who get divorced move on eventually. It sucks, but so does giving up on relationships if you’re not wired to prefer being alone.”
She rocked her head against his chest in what might have been a no. “Losing him would have been easier if I hadn’t been collared to him too. I could barely remember how to function without directions from Nigel. As much as I was a brat, he was big on protocol and micromanaging me. When I left, I couldn’t remember how to choose what to eat, when to go to bed, what to wear—almost every part of my life had been controlled by him for two of the three years we were together. I was completely reliant on him, which was how we’d wanted things. I’ll never, never do that again.”
“Not every D/s relationship is about micromanagement,” he said, realizing he was mansplaining something she knew as well as he did, if not better. He grunted at his own stupidity, but wasn’t sure what he could say to change her mind. Maybe he’d never be able to. How did a submissive ever come back from that level of betrayal?
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For a long while she went quiet, and he wondered if she’d fallen asleep.
“Enough about ancient history,” she said firmly. “Enough about my ex and my dumbass former BFF. You and I need to talk about our expectations for this week.”
Chapter Eleven
There was a rumbling sound against Dex’s ear that might have been a complaint. Grant’s arms were warm and strong, and she’d been so relaxed after letting out her whole crappy story that she’d almost fallen asleep.
Any other red-blooded male would be pressing his advantage, at least trying to cop a feel, but not Grant. As much as he was a slut, he was a respectful one who was big into informed consent. He chose women who knew what he offered and wouldn’t get emotionally attached.
Or at least, that had been the old Grant. This Grant wanted more, at least from her.
She didn’t even know what she wanted anymore.
