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Late that night, as I stood in front of my mirror, I cursed myself for agreeing to go out because the tired, puffy eyes were back, along with a gray listlessness that seemed to seep into my brain.
“Hey girl!” said Kimmy, as she waltzed out of her room. “Please don’t tell me you are wearing that.” She looked at my top and then my skirt. “You look like a grandma.”
I looked at my tapered skirt and loose blouse. “I do not,” I said primly, smoothing out my skirt.
“Yes, you do. You can look like a school teacher by day, but no one wants to see that at night.” She slipped on some black pumps to match her tight blue dress. Kimmy was my roommate and although we didn’t have much in common, we’d clicked instantly. In fact, Kimmy reminded me a lot of Justine and it was nice to have someone like her in my life, full of wild pronouncements and bubbly energy.
Kimmy snapped her fingers as if she remembered something. “What about that black dress you have in your closet?”
“What black dress?” I asked as I turned in her direction.
“You know. The slinky one. I’ve been begging you to wear it since I saw it. You’ll definitely look hot.”
Oh.
That dress.
The last time I’d worn it, I’d met Hunter.
“I don’t think so,” was my murmur, as I turned around to look at my clothes again. I frowned – my outfit had seemed fine before but now that Kimmy had criticized it, it did look a little dowdy.
Kimmy walked up behind me, holding my shoulders. “No, babe, you are wearing that dress. Come on, it’s perfect.”
I groaned. The dress – like almost everything else nowadays – made me think of my past. I couldn’t look at the material without remembering how Hunter’s hands had felt gliding over my body. I couldn’t look at the hem without remembering how Hunter and I had made passionate love on the beach.
And how I’d been stupid enough to fall for his lies.
Just looking at the tiny slip of fabric brought tears to my eyes, so I’d shoved it as far back in my closet as I could. But knowing that Kimmy had seen the outfit made me realize that I hadn’t been as crafty as I’d thought.
“Why don’t you want to wear it? Dresses like that are begging to be put on and then swiftly taken off,” Kimmy said with a devilish grin.
“If I put that dress on, it’s firmly staying on,” I said, with a little too much conviction.
Kimmy put her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, your choice. But seriously, Daniella, we only have a few more nights here. You should live a little and let go. You’ve been so careful. Don’t you want to let your hair down for one night?”
I sighed. I did want to let loose. It was the only part of Dani I missed. So taking a deep breath, I reached into the closet and put on the dress. When I went to show my roommate, Kimmy squealed.
“I knew you’d look hot!” she clapped her hands, as I stared at my reflection. And looking in the mirror, I knew she was right. I did look hot, my curves lovingly emphasized by the clingy material.
What would Hunter say if he saw me in this? But I shut the thought out. He was no longer a part of my life, and I’d never see him again. Besides, Kimmy was on a different wavelength that had nothing to do with my lost love.
“Now let’s go before all the cute boys are gone!” she sang, grabbing her clutch. I followed her obediently, my steps tracing hers. Tonight, I was going to let myself try to be the Dani I once had been. Shy yet vivacious. Fun yet reserved. A rose blooming under Hunter’s masculine gaze.
I just hoped I could remember who she was.
The club was bustling with people. Music blared loudly through speakers from all corners as I followed Kimmy to the back. As we got closer to the back tables I saw Joshua, along with a bunch of other classmates at a few clustered tables. As soon as he saw me, he waved energetically, almost falling out of his seat.
“Wow,” he said, as he got a good look at me. “Daniella, you look amazing.”
I blushed. It had been so long since a man had complimented me. While I knew it was wrong to lead Joshua on, I couldn’t deny that being flattered felt good.
“Thank you,” I muttered.
Kimmy elbowed me in the ribs, whispering in my ear: “See? Am I a genius or what?”
Kimmy had been egging me on the entire summer to hook up with Joshua. Even when I explained to her I wasn’t interested in anything, much less a hookup, she still continued to pester me. At one point, she’d questioned why I was so resistant. I didn’t want to tell her the real reason, so I hid behind wanting to focus on why I was in India – to help kids, not to get laid.
