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I think about sitting in the crowd as Lena reads from one of her books, my chest lighting up with pride – pride that my daughter has gone from scrawling stories in notebooks with crayons to having her own books read all over the country, all over the world.
And I think about Kelly, walking her up to a large home in the suburbs, the windows glistening and songbirds chirping in the background. My chest tightens as the fantasy spirals, as suddenly there are countless children in the house, their footsteps loud and flooding me with light.
It’s the sort of light I never dreamed a man, a beast-like me could feel.
I don’t just want to take my woman’s tight needy hole. I don’t just want to savage her, even if I do want that.
No, no, I want a life with her, a life where we can be happy, where she’ll always know who she belongs to and she never has to want for anything.
She can sing or simply be a mother if she wants, as long as she stays loyal to me.
Forever.
But none of that is possible if I have to stay on the run.
“Kane?”
“I’m here.”
“I’m gonna grab something to eat. Hopefully, this airline gets their act together and I’ll be with you soon.”
“Alright.”
I hang up and look through the binoculars. Kelly has walked onto the balcony again, leaning against the railing, giving me a tempting enticing look at her cleavage. The beast in me howls, demands for me to go to her now, to give her the signal I promised.
But I have to be patient. I have to wait for Jocko.
I can’t risk my daughter, even if I’m already betraying her by studying the voluptuous perfection of my woman’s body.
Chapter Seven
Kelly
“Are you still not feeling any better?” Lena asks me the next morning, standing next to my bed with a concerned look on her face.
Guilt spikes through me in hot embers.
When I returned to the apartment yesterday morning and Lena asked me why I was back, all I could think of was to blurt I wasn’t feeling well.
It’s the first time I’ve ever lied to my best friend.
Sure, I’ve omitted plenty of things – like my lifelong crush on her dad – but I’ve never come right out and told a lie.
I sit up in bed, smiling at her. “I’m not too bad this morning. I might go out on the balcony for some fresh air.”
“You better be quick,” Lena teases. “I’m fixing to do another writing sprint.”
Despite the lust heating up my belly – the same lust that has made every inch of me tingle and shiver with need since Kane kissed me – I can’t help but smile at the manic energy on Lena’s face. She’s in the zone, as she likes to call it, that place where the words are pouring out of her and she doesn’t even want to stop for sleep.
“I will.”
I climb out of bed and together we walk into the living room.
My body feels heavy with tiredness. Sleep was impossible last night, so much weighing on me, so much surging around me.
If I wasn’t thinking about how sick and rotten it is that I had to lie to Lena, I was reliving the way Kane’s lips tasted, the way our bodies fused together, as my nipples tingled with lust.
And then there were his words.
We’re in public.
Shame, or guilt over his daughter?
Not knowing is causing my thoughts to spin around and around like some broken fairground ride.
I wander out onto the balcony, into the early-morning Maltese sun. The city is quiet and the air is fresh, despite the heat. I inhale it and close my eyes, letting the sunlight glow on my eyelids. It infuses me.
And it makes me think of Kane, but then everything does every little thing.
Opening my eyes, I spot something glinting from a building on the other side of the tiny city.
My belly tightens as a thought slams into me. This is the sign Kane mentioned, the sign he’d give me to let me know it’s time to see each other again. My clit throbs, the same way it did all night, but I didn’t let my hands slide between my legs and tease it as I normally would.
I lied to Lena. Was I really going to touch myself over her dad too?
Sure, I’d done it countless times before. But that was never after I kissed him.
The glinting goes on and on, as though somebody is angling a piece of glass in my direction.
It must be Kane, hiding in the window of one of the taller apartments. I narrow my eyes and try to make out any sign of a person behind the window, but all I can see is the shimmering of the light.
Swallowing, nerves boil through me as I turn back to the apartment and join Lena in the kitchen. She’s humming under her breath, completely oblivious to what’s going on.
