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But then Lena’s laughter hits me again.
“What’s so funny?” I ask.
“There’s a medieval show at the silent city. Lena’s having the time of her life.”
I swallow and my stomach rolls, more dark thoughts moving through me now. “That’s good. I want her to be happy.”
Because pretty soon she’s going to be anything but, I don’t add.
“Alright. See you soon.”
I hang up and tell Kelly the news, watching as her face goes through the same emotions I just did. From happy to hopeful and then to apprehensive, it all crashes into her, as the full magnitude of the news slams into her.
“So you can come back to the States?” she asks quietly.
I drop down onto the bed and pull her close to me, kissing the top of her head, smelling our sex and her shampoo and her just-Kelly scent, the most perfect one there is. “Yes.”
“We can have a life together.”
“Yes, and it’s going to be the best goddamn life there’s ever been,” I tell her.
“But first…”
I swallow as something grim moves through me, darkening the moment, as though a rancid cloud is cloaking the glittering Maltese sun.
“We have to tell Lena.” I sigh heavily. “There’s no way around it. We can’t spend the rest of our lives living in secret.”
I smooth my hand over her belly, sure I can feel our child in there, our future.
“Especially not when you get pregnant.”
“Yeah.” Kelly laughs, but there’s an unhinged quality to it, as though inside she’s spinning as frantically as I am. “I guess that’d be pretty hard to explain.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Kelly
The three of us sit on the roof, surrounding the small table, with Lena on one side and me and Kane on the other. Part of me thinks about sprinting for the door and running through the house, trying my best to disappear from this moment so I don’t have to think about what we’re facing.
Lena looks between us with her eyebrows knitted, narrowing her eyes, and yet she’s still got that little half-smile on her face. It’s the one I recognize well – the optimistic part of her that always refuses to let life beat her down, no matter what happens.
“So… is there any reason you wanted to talk or are we just going to sit here like weirdos?” Lena says, over our silence.
I giggle, lightening my mood from a fraction of a moment even as the momentousness of what we have to do hits me.
“Lena, we need to tell you something.” I take a deep breath, steadying myself. “But before we do, I want to say I love you, kay? I love you and you’re my best friend and I’m sorry for lying to you.”
She reaches over the table and takes my hand when a sob threatens to escape. I can’t stop the tears as she curls her fingers around mine, holding on tightly, transmitting all the love and devotion she’s always had for me.
It makes the betrayal so much worse, so much more meaningful, with this reminder of how supportive she’s always been.
“It’s okay, Kelly,” she says. “Please don’t cry. Whatever it is, it’s okay.”
“It’s not.” I sob, unable to fight the full force of the sadness. “When you find out—”
“Are you two together?” Lena asks, sitting back and folding her arms. Her gaze flitting between her father and me. “Because that’s how this seems. It’s the only thing that makes sense. The only news you’d both need to tell me.”
“Lena…” I stutter.
“Kelly, I know you’ve had a crush on him for a long time.”
I gasp, bringing my hand up to cover my mouth. “You do?” I whisper between my fingers.
Her lips twitch in a smile, giving me hope. But then her mouth twists into a grimace which takes it all away. “I found your notebook when we were like twelve, Kelly. Plus I saw the way you looked at him growing up. Honestly, it wouldn’t have meant anything to me if you told me. I wouldn’t have cared. But you never did, so I figured you wanted to keep it private. That was fine by me.”
The magnitude of her words slams into me, as I reach up and rubs tears from my cheeks. “I thought you’d hate me if you ever found out.”
Lena shakes her head. “Kelly, I could never hate you.”
“You were right, Lena,” Kane says from beside me. His voice is deep and rumbling, as heavy with emotion as mine is, except he’s not crying. “When you said we’re together. We are.”
“And what does that mean?” A warble enters Lena’s voice as she stares at her father, at the man of my dreams. “I don’t understand how you’ve been missing for the past three years but you two are together. And don’t give me any talk about it being a fling.”
She raises her hand when Kane moves to interrupt, a fierce look in her eyes. “Dad, I’m not done.”
