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At that moment, I truly understood the depths of Sadie’s strength, the grit within her to grin and bear her pain silently. She was a master at playing the long game, and that only made me love her more. “Wow.”
Cillian nodded and flashed a knowing grin my way. “Tough as nails, that girl is. She has to find her strength and none of us can do it for her, Thomas. She’ll get there. Trust me.”
And she had. It had taken a long damn time, but Cillian had called it right. Sadie had become a force to be reckoned with, right before my eyes.
I sat at Cillian’s side for months as cancer ate away at his body, turning him into a fragile shadow of the man who’d found me and took me in, turned me into a man. I stayed with him day and night, listening to his stories, reliving his glory days with him, while Colm did his best to gamble away the entire Ashby fortune.
Sadie had been in and out of his room, inconsolable half the time and as stoic as a statue the rest of the time. Losing Cillian was killing her, but the stubborn woman refused to show it, refused to share her burden with anyone. She leaned on herself, keeping him fed and hydrated even though she’d hired a full-time nurse to look after him.
“Sadie girl, have a seat. Watching you run around is exhausting me, and I don’t have enough time left to be exhausted.” Cillian patted the side of the bed for her to sit. She let out a long, sad sigh and did as he asked.
“Don’t talk like that, Cillian. I can’t bear the thought of not seeing your face every day.” She swiped away one lone tear, smiling at the old man through her pain. “I’m not ready to live without you, old man.”
“Old in body but young at heart, remember that.”
“I will.” Sadie gave his hand a gentle squeeze and brushed a kiss over his knuckles. It was the most vulnerable I’d ever seen her, probably because she didn’t realize I was in the room. I never forgot that moment.
“Now make sure you take care of yourself. You’ll be busy enough real soon.” Cillian’s ominous words stayed with me for the next week when his organs began to fail, and he could barely speak.
It was clear that the end was imminent for the old man, and he beckoned me closer, the paper-thin flesh of his hands practically transparent. The very act of summoning me exhausted him, and I took the chair beside the bed and slid in close. “I’m here, Cillian.”
He flashed a ghost of a smile. “You’ve always been here, Thomas, at my side. My valet, my tutor, my protector and my friend. My brother. I’m not a sentimental man, but you have been an important part of my life, son. I hope you know that.”
“I do,” I assured him. Cillian wasn’t a man prone to bouts of sentimentality or emotions. He showed his appreciation in other ways.
“Good, because I’m about to ask you for the mother of all favors. It’s gonna hurt you like hell. Rip your heart out day after day, and I’m sorry for that, but it has to be you. It can only be you.”
“What is it, Cillian?”
“Sadie,” he whispered before he began to choke.
I found the cup of water beside the bed and held it close for him. I didn’t stare, and I didn’t offer any sympathetic looks because I knew he hated this helplessness, this weakness.
“Thank you.” He took another sip and fell back against the pillows. “Sadie is the future of the Ashby Organization. Sadie, not Colm. She’s going to need protection from my boy, from my business associates, from the whole fucking world. She’s going to need you, Thomas. Whether she knows it or not, you are exactly the man she needs.” His green eyes bore into mine, his hand gripped mine as if I alone could keep him from meeting his maker.
I didn’t know if Cillian meant I was the man she needed, and I couldn’t let myself think it, so I nodded and told him I would honor the request. “She will always be protected, Cillian. I promise.”
Hours later, Cillian Ashby was dead, and Sadie was my new charge to protect and advise, to guide and save whenever needed.
And she’d never know it was me who killed Colm Ashby.
I’d been at her side for years now, cleaning up her messes, loving her from afar, dressing her, advising her. Always the silent arm of protection she needed, whether she wanted it or not.
A knock sounded on the door, and I knew it would be Sadie. These days, she knew I existed, but it was a toss-up from one day to the next whether she thought it was a good thing or not.
