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“I really don’t see the point of this.”
Tilting my head to the side, I stared at him. He didn’t flinch or squirm. There was no guilt or remorse.
“Well, I see your father and Emily’s dad.”
“For fuck’s sake.”
“Yeah, go ahead, curse me out. Be angry. Hell, be so fucking infuriated with me. I don’t care. They all at some point make a deal or a bargain with a woman’s innocence. They chose who gets it. Not her. That’s the exact deal you made.” The hot chocolate I’d been enjoying suddenly lost its appeal. “Good night.”
I put the mug on the counter. Maybe someone would come and pick it up, and then I wouldn’t feel like I wasted food.
“I’m sorry,” Caleb said.
“No, you’re not. You got what you wanted.”
I didn’t linger to talk to him more, there was no point. I wasn’t going to pretend any of this was okay. They made their deal. I was part of it, even though I didn’t want to be. Just because Earl hadn’t raped me, or taken what he wanted and tossed me aside, didn’t make any of this right. I was so angry all of a sudden. Earl acted like a gentleman now, but what if he got bored? Once he’d had his fill of me, taken everything he could, and tossed me aside, what was I supposed to do then? I didn’t have the first clue what to do. If he was being honest, then I was going to be rich for the time I’d spent with him, but no matter how he dressed it up, I’d still feel like a whore if I would get rich off my virginity.
Walking out of the kitchen, I made my way back to the bedroom. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. All I wanted was to be alone in my bedroom, or the guest bedroom. It wasn’t mine. I wasn’t staying here. It didn’t belong to me.
The moment I entered, I saw Earl sitting on the bed, fingertips pressed together.
“Where were you?” he asked.
I was surprised he didn’t have all of my moves monitored. “In the kitchen.”
“You’re pissed off.”
I didn’t answer him. I slipped off my shoes because I didn’t like walking around barefoot, and moved toward the head of the bed. Earl captured my hand before I could stop him, pulling me toward his body. The moment he touched me, I felt the swirling, intense need spiral within my body. This was what scared me.
This man wasn’t mine.
He was a beast, not a monster, and he was used to getting what he wanted. He traded in human flesh, while I had no choice but to deal with him now. I didn’t just give in to him. I fought him, tugging on my wrist like my life depended on it. To a point, my heart did. I was angry when I should have been happy.
Emily was safe. So long as I kept with the bargain I made with this bastard, she and all of her men will be safe. I couldn’t tell her this. I had to keep it to myself.
Earl wasn’t happy with my fighting. Before long, he was up on his feet, and he was so much taller than me. All it took was a few moves, and he had me pinned to the bed, my arms spread out above me. I tried to buck him off, bite him, anything. I wasn’t screaming though. Even as I appeared to be losing my mind, I continued to have a sane part that told me to keep quiet. The moment I made a sound, they could all come running.
Did I want Earl dead?
I didn’t know.
Releasing a huff, I tried again to throw him off me, but I somehow managed to get his cock flush against me. I felt how hard he was. Part of me wanted to fight, to tell him to fuck off, to scream, and to bring all kinds of hell down on his ass, but instead, I just lay there. Taking a deep breath, I ignored the woman inside me begging for me to fight more. Tears filled my eyes.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
“This is not nothing, Ashley. Tell me.”
“No! We’re not in the company of others. I don’t have to be on my best behavior. I won’t tell you just because you demand it. Or are you going to grab a guard and force him to come in here so I don’t have a choice? Spank me again. Tell me, Earl, what exactly are you going to do?”
He slammed his lips down on mine, kissing me. This wasn’t a gentle kiss. He wasn’t being nice or kind. This was a ravishment. He was punishing and rewarding me at the same time. Our teeth clashed together and caused a slight pain, but I didn’t care. This wasn’t supposed to be beautiful. He wasn’t my lover. He was my owner. I was nothing more than his property. No, a piece of flesh between my legs belonged to him. I was the one who was attached to it. There was nothing loving about this. No happiness. We weren’t in love.
