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"What if I don't want you to do this anymore?" I whisper.
"It doesn't matter," he says firmly. "I have to do it for myself, and for Robin. He deserves this. You still got that hoodie?"
I shut my eyes, nodding. I stashed it in the back of my closet, trying to force myself to forget it was there.
"Good. I'll need that for my confession."
"Nox." Panicked, I grab his hand when he tries to stand up. "Don't do it. Don't leave me. Don't."
"I have to." His words are final and they cut so incredibly deep it feels like somebody's ripping my heart out of my chest. This is the last thing I expected to happen. I never thought Nox would grow a conscience. But he seems determined, and something tells me I won't be able to change his mind now.
"But how am I going to..." I swallow thickly, embarrassed of the words that are about to leave my lips. "How am I supposed to survive without you?"
"You've been fine this whole time, Dove," he says, his gentleness surprising me. This is not the Nox I know. "What makes you think you can't handle more time away from me?"
"I haven't been fine," I whisper shakily. "I missed you... I need you..."
"Fuck." His hand slips from mine and he gets up, pacing his luxurious hotel suite. All of this is so different than what I anticipated. Nox is a different man now, one that wants to fix his past wrongdoings. And here I am, begging him to change his mind, because I'm so fucking weak. "I can't stay, Dove. And you need to find Willa."
"Let me have tonight." I drop to my knees. I crawl closer as he watches me with furrowed brows. "Please. You said you have to turn yourself in tomorrow. Just... let me have tonight to say goodbye to you."
"You want to stay here with me?" I nod, but he shakes his head, groaning. "We can't do that, Dove. It'll be too fucking difficult to leave you."
"Please, Nox." I know I'm begging but I'm not even embarrassed anymore. I need this, need him to make it right. "Don't make me leave. Let me spend the night. Let me be with you one last night."
"Dove..." My name on his lips sounds like a prayer. He wants me to stay, I can tell. He's just fighting his own conscience right now, battling his demons that are telling him to stay the fuck away from me before more bad shit happens. "What about Raphael?"
"What about him?" My face creases. "He ended his chances with me tonight. It's over."
"Did you ever..." He groans, running his hands through his dark hair. "No, I don't want to know."
I look up at him from the floor, softly saying, "No, we never did, Nox. How could I, after you?"
He growls my name and joins me on the floor. We're both on our knees, too afraid to touch, too lost in each other to comprehend this is all going to change in a matter of hours. I'm going to lose him. And this time, it might be for ever.
"Kiss me." I can't believe I've said it. That my innermost desires are coming out like this. But I'm so fucking desperate for his attention, for Nox to make me feel whole like only he can do. "Please, I want to feel your lips on mine, Nox, I can't say goodbye to you without that."
"No," he shakes his head vehemently. "That's a bad idea. The moment we cross that line, I'm going to want more and more."
"So?" I'm shocked by my own bravery. "Maybe I want it, too. Maybe I don't want to resist, either."
"Dove..." He grunts a curse word before scooting closer. He lifts a hand to my cheek, gently caressing the scar he gave me. "I don't want to hurt you anymore."
"Maybe that's what I want," I whisper, cupping his hand with mine. "Maybe I need the pain. Maybe that's what I've been missing all this time. Instead of fighting it all along, I should've been giving in..."
"I want to kiss you," he growls, and my lips part at the thought of his mouth on mine, making me submit to his wicked desires. I want to be his again. I want to be his good girl, opening myself to his abuse, giving us both everything we've ever dreamed of. "Is that okay, Dove?"
I nod wordlessly, already anticipating the touch before it comes. And then he leans in, capturing my mouth in a kiss that changes my world. Nox doesn't kiss like he used to. There's more pain in the way he steals from my lips now. Pain, sorrow, regret, all those things mixing into one as he swallows my cry and deepens our connection by pulling me into the dark abyss of our relationship.
