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"No," she grunts. "You'll just worm your way back into my life and my heart. And I don't want you in either."
Her words hurt, but I try not to let it show. I run my fingers through my hair, fighting the urge to scream at the people watching us and tell them to fuck off and mind their own business.
"Dove, you don't mean it."
"Of fucking course I mean it. I've been trying to get rid of you since you showed up here."
"You're lying."
"I'm not!" she screams in frustration, pulling at her hair. "Can't you see my life's gone to hell since you reappeared? I've lost everything. Everything. Sam. Raphael. And Robin... Robin…"
She swallows and I watch something click inside her like a switch. Her legs can't hold her up anymore and she collapses on the ground, staring at her open palms as if they hold the answer to everything that's happened. Everything I've done.
Because obviously, Dove's fucking right. I'm the one who's been making her life a living hell, and I have no goddamn regrets. I wouldn't take anything I did back. Not even Robin. Because it all meant I got her here, broken, with no one to help her but me.
And I'm the one who picks her up in the end.
I'm the one who guides her back in the house where the pizza boxes lie forgotten on the counter.
I'm the one who sits her down on the sofa and cleans her scrapes from collapsing on the pavement while she stares ahead, eyes unseeing.
I'm the one who force-feeds her some shitty vegetarian pizza concoction that turns my stomach.
I'm the only one who can make it better, and we both fucking know it.
"I'll leave now, if you want," I finally mutter once she's eaten two slices. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
She doesn't answer, and I pull back, coming to terms with the fact that I need to give her some space. But when I attempt to walk away, her hand shoots up and she wraps her fingers around my wrist, ever so gently pulling me back. She doesn't speak, but when her eyes meet mine, they speak the only word that matters.
Stay.
Except I know I can't. I can't stay here, because the mere fact that she reached out for me has already made my dick hard. So I pull my hand out of her grasp. Her face breaks into a painfully desperate expression.
"Don't go."
Now she's said it out loud. And yet I still can't stay. Not without revealing all the awful, humiliating things I want to do to her still innocent body. Not without breaking her.
"I have to leave. You need time to rest."
"I can't be alone tonight. I can't, Nox. I don't want to be alone."
I groan, running my fingers through my hair in frustration. "I can keep an eye on you. From the street."
"No," she whines. "Stay with me. Hold me. Take care of me."
The words falling from her lips fucking break me. I want nothing more than to stay, and yet I know I can't. Not without breaking the promise I made to myself – that I wouldn't hurt her unless she begged for it.
But Dove is still so pure. She doesn't know how ugly and awful the world is. How black my heart is. She has no idea of all the awful things I want to do to her.
My heart battles my mind as she awaits my answer. Finally, I shake my head.
"I can't."
She jumps up at this, a look of pure rage crossing her face. "You can't? You were so obsessed with owning me, you knocked out some stranger, and now you can't fucking stay?"
I shake my head. Whatever I say now will mean nothing, but I try anyway. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry? Sorry's not fucking enough," she snarls at me. "Why can't you stay? Why can't you do the right thing for once in your sorry fucking life? Why can't you? Why, Nox? Why?"
"Why?" I hiss.
"Yes, why!" she screams, hammering her fists against my chest. We're going to wake up all of her neighbors again, not that I particularly give a damn. "Why, Nox? Why won't you stay, why, why, why?"
I grab her hands. She goes still. I move her right palm over the bulge forming in my pants, hissing my answer at her.
"This is why, Dove. Because just being near you makes me hard as a rock. Because seeing you naked has been giving me blue balls all day. Because I want to fuck you. And I'm going to fucking hurt you if you make me stay. Do you fucking understand?" I pull her against me, glaring into her wide eyes. "Do you, Dove?"
Chapter 23
Dove
My hand rests between his legs. I'm too afraid to move, to do much as let out a breath. My eyes are glued to his and the air between us is thick, the tension sparking with electricity.
