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I get it. For years I wanted to do things right too, but he brings out this other side of me, the side that wants to throw caution to the wind and enjoy every experience I can. I’ve never dated anyone that made me feel that way before. I mean there’s been times when I was a little horny and kind of wanted to have sex with someone, but there’s been nothing like this deep, aching need within me.
I am like a giant ball of nerve endings with Mac. Every little part of me craves every little part of him. I want him to ravish me, to bring me to life, to make me feel things I thought only happened in the movies. I want to come hard, screaming his name. I want to feel him inside of me.
Three months feels like forever, like I have been tortured by this delicious, frustrating need inside of me for all of my life. Sometimes, I think Mac feels it too. When we’re in bed falling asleep together, sometimes I feel his hard cock poking into my back, and I know he’s feeling it too. Sometimes he looks at me with this look that makes me flood my panties just looking at it. An animal look that says when he takes me, he’ll take me hard.
But then other times, I start to wonder if he really wants me, if he’s really still into me like he was in the beginning. I question whether he really finds me attractive anymore or whether the initial burst of lust has worn off and he thinks of me more like a friend. It’s hard not to feel that way when I’ve made it quite clear to him that I’m ready for him to make me his physically, and he refuses.
The intercom buzzes, and I push all of those thoughts away. I practically skip over to it, butterflies fluttering through my stomach at the thought of seeing him again.
“Come on up,” I say.
I buzz him in and listen until I hear the main door open. I go to my front door and unlock it and wait. Mac walks in. He’s wearing ripped blue jeans and a black T-shirt, and he looks damned good. I feel my heartbeat speed up, and my pussy clenches at the sight of him. What I wouldn’t give right now to wrap my arms around him and pull him to me. To have him eat me out and then make love to me.
“Hey.” He grins.
He comes to my side and kisses me. Not a deep, passionate kiss, just a hello kiss. It still sends a shiver through me, still makes me want to strip him naked, throw him on the ground, and ride him.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
He seems kind of nervous, like he’s full of energy that has nowhere to go. He sits down and then stands straight back up again.
“Huh? Oh, yeah,” he says.
“Okay,” I say, drawing the word out, making it clear I don’t quite believe him. “Just you seem kind of on edge.”
He shrugs. “I’m okay,” he says.
He’s pacing across the lounge and his nervousness is starting to rub off on me. I find myself twiddling a strand of my hair around my fingers.
“So, where are we going?” I ask.
“Actually, I thought we could just stay here. I wanted to talk to you about something,” Mac says.
So he is nervous. Whatever he wants to talk about must be pretty big. I mean, we’ve already had the together forever conversation, the monogamy conversation, and the hypothetical future conversation, and he didn’t seem nervous through any of it. What could be so big that he’s like this?
I feel a sudden rush of dread fill me. Is he going to break up with me?
I nod wordlessly, telling him we can stay here, and Mac continues to pace for a moment.
“The thing is, Zoe, I love you. You know that, right?”
I nod again, not so sure I do know that anymore. I’m waiting for the “but” to come.
“I love you as I’ve never loved anyone. Like I didn’t even think it was possible to love someone this much.”
He stops pacing and turns to face me. My heart is racing. It doesn’t sound quite so much like there’s a “but” coming now, but I still have no idea where this conversation is going, and I hate the not knowing. Whatever is on his mind, I wish he would just spit it out so we could talk about it and hopefully fix it together.
“So yeah. I love you. That’s a thing,” he says.
I’ve never seen him like this before. So unsure of himself, so strange.
“And I know we said this is forever, but I want to make it official.”
He drops to one knee and presents me with a small box I hadn’t even noticed he was holding. He opens the box and inside of it is a beautiful diamond ring.
