AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He shakes his head.
“Okay. Say you come to me and I tell you I need a multi-platform marketing strategy that targets men in their forties with disposable income. What are you going to offer me?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t read the material yet. But I will know. Or do you think I’m too fucking stupid to learn this stuff?” I snap.
“I’m just trying to make you see the truth of the situation,” he says.
“You want the truth? Here’s some truth for you. I’m taking that job, Falcon, and I’m going to be damn good at it. And if you have a problem with that, well I’m sure you can learn to live with it. Or not. Honestly, I’m past caring right now.”
CHAPTER SIX
FALCON
Her words finally get through to me. I’m not going to lose Elle because she takes a job, even if it is for that scumbag. I’m going to lose her because I’m so damn overprotective I’m suffocating her and she’s going to walk away.
I usually don’t like ultimatums. But this doesn’t feel like an ultimatum. It feels like Elle has given up on me. On our marriage. I can’t let that happen. I have to do whatever it takes to make her see that I love her and I only want what’s best for her. And I have to let go a little and let her make her own mistakes, no matter how much that scares me.
“Look, it’s late,” I say. “We’ve both said some things we didn’t mean—”
“Have we?” she interrupts.
“Well, haven’t we?” I say.
I know I did. And I pray to fucking God she did because if she really doesn’t care one way or the other whether I stay or go, then we’re done, and I can’t handle the thought of not being with her. Of not being able to hold her, to kiss her, to fuck her.
She shrugs.
“I guess. But I did mean it when I said I’m taking the job.”
“Let’s just talk about it in the morning. It’s late,” I say.
She shakes her head.
“You’re still not hearing me, are you? There’s nothing to talk about. I’m taking the job. I know you’re not happy about it, but I’m doing it anyway, and that’s all there is to it. I don’t want to spend the weekend arguing about it. So let’s just not talk about it, okay?”
“Whatever,” I sigh.
“I’m going to bed,” she says.
I nod and follow her upstairs. We get ready and crawl into bed. What I wouldn’t give to reach across the gap and touch her. To pull her into my arms and caress every inch of her, to make her feel every part of her body coming to life. But somehow I just can’t do it. I’m afraid she’ll push me away. The gap between us is less than a foot, but it might as well be a mile as we sit in silence, her reading a magazine and me reading a book, both of us avoiding the elephant in the room.
There was a time when we talked about things. Everything. We made joint decisions, we discussed the pros and cons. Now it’s come to this, and I know why. I know it’s my fault. Somewhere along the way, we stopped talking about things. I didn’t realize it then, but I see it now. So many times there was a decision to be made, and I just made it, and Elle went along with it. Now she’s making her own decisions, and I see it. I see how fucking frustrating it must have been for her all these years.
I don’t know how to tell her any of this though. I don’t know how to say I’m sorry and I get it, and I just want her to be happy. I don’t know how to take back the hurtful things I said and tell her I support her no matter what.
Elle sighs and puts her magazine down. She flicks off her lamp and lies down, her back to me. I try to concentrate on my book, but it’s like it’s written in a foreign language. It’s just not going in. I look at Elle, the curve of her hip, her slender back. I realize her shoulders are shaking slightly. She’s crying.
“Elle? Are you alright?” I ask.
She sniffs loudly.
“Yes. I just miss the girls,” she says.
She’s lying. I made her cry, and I fucking hate myself for it. I wish we could have a do-over of today. A version where she tells me about her new job and I smile and encourage her and say all the right things. She wouldn’t be crying now, she’d be screaming my name as I made her come.
I want to tell her I’m sorry, but I don’t want to accuse her of lying about why she’s upset. I think one more argument right now could push us over the edge. Instead, I go along with it.
