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More. I needed more. I needed him.
“Naked. Now,” I moaned as I tried to push at his jeans. He immediately rolled off me and stood. As he unsnapped his jeans, I pushed myself up to my knees and scooted to the edge of the bed to help. Licking his chest, I unzipped him, pushed the pants down, and circled my fists around his pulsing cock.
God, I’d missed this.
“Keep doing that, and it’ll be over before it begins,” he growled as he pushed me back down on the bed and climbed over me.
Just like so many other times before, he slid inside me without a thought. I waited for the fear to hit. The worry that the pill wouldn’t be enough, that I’d conceive and fail once again, but there was only him inside me, and I pushed the thoughts away. He stretched and filled me, bringing me that type of pleasure that I’d long since forgotten.
He stilled, froze, his head falling until his forehead pressed against mine. “Shit.”
“What’s wrong?”
He lifted his head until he could look into my eyes. “Condom. I forgot. I thought it was like before.”
It was like before, so much so I wondered if this was a dream, but reality refused to go away.
“I’m on the pill. I…” I swallowed hard. “I haven’t missed a single one since…”
He pressed his lips to mine, the kiss so gentle tears pricked at my eyes.
“I’m clean, Jillian. I’m not quite the manwhore I used to be, and I’m always safe. I’ve never been bare with anyone but you.”
I should have stopped this. For more than one reason, I knew. But I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to be the old Jillian who followed her heart, who took risks and loved full-on.
Holding his face in my hands, I kissed him this time, lifting my hips so that he angled deeper into my body. He’d always been the perfect fit for me, and even now, when I was so unused to another man, it was nothing but bliss.
The inhibitions were down, and I was freer than I’d ever been before. He gave me everything that he promised, hard and fast. I couldn’t even take a breath without a sound of pleasure escaping, and once again, he muffled me with his lips and tongue.
Time slowed, and I lost myself around him. He drove me higher and higher until I snapped with a lustful cry. When I scored my nails down his back, he lost control and drove into me until he found his own wild release.
When it was over, I was too tired to be ashamed. Too tired for regret. The sun was just starting to set, and I curled up around him as he slumped over next to me.
“Dinner,” I whispered.
“My sister has a date tonight, so I told Janice not to fix us anything. If you’re hungry, I can go down and grab something.”
“No, I’m okay,” I murmured. I lifted my head and stared at the closed door. “I should go.”
“You don’t look like you’re going anywhere.” He pulled me tighter against him. “And I’m not nearly done with you for tonight. Stay with me, Jillian. Just for tonight.”
Just for tonight.
Sated and tired, I agreed. When I started to lay back down, he grabbed me and pulled me over top of him. As I rested my head against his chest, I relaxed just enough to feel a fleeting nostalgia and the love that we used to share.
***
I woke up feeling warm and oddly content. For the first time in a long time, I wanted to lounge in bed and just relax. It wasn’t until I started to move that I realized there was a heavy arm wrapped around me, and I froze.
Memories of everything that we’d done last night, and I mean everything came flooding back, and I slowly exhaled.
I couldn’t even go one month without crawling into bed with Brendan. Was I that sex-deprived? Or sex-crazed? Or both?
He was still asleep. I could tell from his even breathing. It would be dangerous to still be here when he woke up. I remembered all too well how good morning sex was with him, and I’d already proven how weak I was yesterday.
Luckily, Brendan was a heavy sleeper. I gently lifted his arm and squirmed out from under him. Picking up my discarded clothes, I hurriedly dressed. I was dying for a shower, but there was no way in hell that I was going to take one here and risk waking him up.
Praying that Kim would still be asleep and that I wouldn’t see her during my quick walk of shame, I eased the door open and crept out. The stairs creaked as I tiptoed down, and when I reached the bottom, a figure came around the corner.
Gasping, I stood toe-to-toe with Janice, the cook. Her eyes swept over my outfit, and she deliberately looked around me and up the stairs. “It’s awfully early for you to be up and dressed, Ms. Quinn. Is there something that you need?”
