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As Roxie had brought him up first, Summer asked cautiously, “Have you had any contact with Teddy? Since . . . you know.”
Roxie looked away. “No. Absolutely not.”
They walked on in silence for a while. Then Roxie said, “I’ve tried to forgive him. I want to forgive him. It would be easier for me if I could. But I don’t think I can.”
Summer nodded. “I understand.”
“I doubt you do understand,” said Roxie, although she wasn’t angry. “All those years of him comforting me, supporting me, pretending to care.”
Summer played devil’s advocate. “Do you think he was pretending? I’m sure he loved you, Roxie.”
“Maybe. But love’s not enough. He knew what he’d done. He let me believe the worst of Mummy, and of poor Andrew, just to save his own skin. How selfish is that? I thought I knew him as well as I knew myself.” She gave a short, empty laugh, “Then again, knowing myself hasn’t exactly been my biggest forte.”
“You need to cut yourself some slack,” said Summer. “You’ve been through hell, more pain than most people suffer in a lifetime. You’re doing okay.”
Roxie smiled. “Thank you. Anyway, enough about me. What’s been happening in your life? Are you writing again?”
They talked about Summer’s work for a while, until inevitably conversation turned to Michael. Summer still couldn’t bring herself to discuss with anyone what Tommy Lyon had told her about Michael’s mistress. It wouldn’t be fair to burden poor Roxie, or to sully her memories of her brother. But she chatted about his new care facility, the nurses, the encouraging articles she’d read on long-term coma patients making miraculous recoveries.
Eventually, with some trepidation, Summer brought up the subject of Alexia, and how the two of them had become close in recent months.
“She’s flying over for your father’s sentencing next week. She’d like to see you.”
Roxie’s shoulders tensed. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“She misses you,” said Summer. “Your mother has a hard shell, but underneath it all she’s a good person. A compassionate person.”
“You never used to think so.”
“I misjudged her. I didn’t know the facts. Look, Roxie, I know she’s made mistakes.”
“That’s a bit of an understatement, don’t you think?” Roxie spluttered.
“Okay, big mistakes. But she wants to put things right. Won’t you meet her, just for a few minutes?”
Roxie shook her head vigorously. “I can’t.”
“She never meant to hurt you.”
“I know that.” Roxie looked up at Summer with tears in her eyes. “But she did. She did hurt me. Okay, so she didn’t drive Andrew away like I thought. But she’s not blameless, Summer. She still lied. She lied, and lied, and I built my life on those lies! You can’t imagine what it’s like, realizing that everything you thought you knew about yourself and your family was just smoke and mirrors!”
Summer thought, I understand more than you think. Everything I thought
I knew about me and Michael was a lie. But here I am still living that lie, too pathetically in love with him to move on.
“Your family’s so wholesome, so normal,” Roxie went on. “You have no idea how lucky you are to have Lucy for a mother. To have two happy, functional parents.”
“I know,” said Summer.
They walked back up to the house, and the staff served them tea and homemade walnut cake in Roxie’s room. Before Summer left she promised to send Roxie pictures of Michael and to keep in closer touch.
Folding her long legs back into the minuscule car, Summer said, “Think about what I said. Your mother gets here next Friday. She’s desperate to see you. At the end of the day, Rox, whatever her faults, she’s the only mother you’ve got.”
Speeding back down the tree-lined drive, Summer thought about Roxanne. Their lives had taken such different paths. But certain things bound them together.
We’ve both been fools for love. Me for Michael. Roxanne for Andrew Beesley. Even Alexia, standing by Teddy after everything that had happened, was living proof that love was blind.
Roxie was right. Her mother had lied to her.
