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She didn’t have time for flings.
Carol came first, then work.
She plunged the cheese knife in again, watching the solid blocks of curds divide as the knife slid through. She had too many responsibilities to consider anything else, particularly men. Between Carol and the deli, her life was totally blocked out.
No time, no time, no time. The words marched through her brain like a drumbeat.
For just a moment, she let herself remember Liam Dempsey’s hazel eyes in the dim light of the brewery floor, his smile as he held the glass of ale up to what passed for light, admiring the deep red color.
That smile had gotten to her. The smile of someone who was taking honest pride in what he’d accomplished. A smile she’d had herself a time or two, when a new cheese was a success or when someone recognized what she’d done. She’d thought they had something in common, a feeling if nothing else. And when he’d made his move, she’d gone with it.
But now that she’d had a chance to think about what had happened, she could see more than a few problems in starting something with Liam.
He was Bec’s brother. Bec was one of her closest friends, along with being her assistant. She didn’t know exactly how Bec would feel about them being together, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out. And Liam was five years younger than she was. It wasn’t a huge difference, but it was enough to make her a little uneasy.
Oh, yeah. When you’re ninety, he’ll be a spry and chipper eighty-five.
She hated it when her inner Ruth turned sarcastic. She tossed the cheese knife into the sink with a little more force than necessary.
Liam was risky. That was a fact. When Antero Brewing had lost its financial backing a year or so ago, he’d walked out and left Bec to run the brewery by herself. Only Bec’s stubborn refusal to give up had kept Antero from going into the dumpster. Now they were back in business on a limited basis, and Liam was helping out again. But he hadn’t been there when Bec needed him.
And chances were he was getting ready to take off again.
She paused, tossing a handful of curds into one of the colanders she kept stacked on the side of the tank. If she was going to indict Liam for his various failings, she had to be fair about it. Liam had turned out to be a stand-up guy during the brewery’s most recent crisis.
When the brewery had lost its best asset—a barrel of imperial stout—Liam had refused to let Bec give up. He’d pushed her into starting again and been there when she needed him most. He’d helped her do a run of wheat beer that she’d been able to sell to her boyfriend’s gastropub in Denver. It hadn’t brought in a huge amount, but they’d made enough to subsidize the next run of red ale and an IPA.
According to Bec, they were considering hiring more help. Last year at this time they’d been closed down, so the turnaround had been outstanding.
Ruth grabbed a cheese mold and began packing the drained curds. She could accuse Liam of a lot of things, but she couldn’t accuse him of hurting Bec. Not anymore. And she couldn’t accuse him of not working hard, not when he was holding down two jobs as a bartender and a brewing assistant.
So what’s the problem?
She paused for a moment. What was the problem, anyway? Clearly Liam Dempsey was ready for a rematch. Why wasn’t she?
Too busy. Single mother. Too old. And Liam wasn’t reliable. She ran through her litany of excuses, each one less convincing than the one before.
What is the problem, Ruth?
She jammed one last handful of curds into the mold, gritting her teeth. She didn’t exactly know what the problem was, but there had to be one. Because she couldn’t possibly want to have sex with Liam Dempsey again.
Except she pretty much did. None of the excuses she’d come up with kept her from wanting to go another round with Liam Dempsey.
It would make me change the way I’m living. It would upend my life. It would make me do things I’m not used to.
But maybe her life needed to be upended. Maybe she needed to stop worrying about changing her routine. Besides, it would just be sex. She could look at it that way. Just recreation, relaxation, kicking back. Nothing serious. No involvement. No new stresses to add to the chaos. No relationship to gum up her life.
