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“I…did?”
“You hid it well, but yes, you did. Last year, I was fucking you from behind while you were half-asleep and you called out my name.” He sighs, the sound long and baffled. “You even asked me to stay. Why the fuck did you ask me to stay?”
It all comes back to me.
Not in flashbacks, but in little tangible memories. The way he held my hair as he fucked me with the urgency of a dying man, the way he kissed me hard and rough and made me come over and over again.
He was brutal, unapologetic, and used me up in every way possible. However, he pleased me, too. He looked at me with those bright green eyes through that black mask and told me without words how much he’s obsessed with me, almost as much as I’m obsessed with him. He showed me in his actions how much being away never erased the connection we had.
Of course I knew who he was. I knew the moment I saw his eyes when he walked into the party. There are no pairs like them in the entire world—at least not for me.
There’s no way the careful, standoffish Reina would’ve had a one-night stand. I was a calculating person who always looked ahead and plotted everything. One-night stands didn’t fit my agenda.
The only reason I did it was because I knew it was Asher. The camouflage of the costumes gave me the anonymity I needed to surrender to him.
“Because I wanted you to,” I say easily. “I wanted you to stay, Ash.”
He pauses, his finger freezing at my throat. “You remember?”
“A few things,” I murmur. “Those two times weren’t the only ones, were they? There was another one before you went to England.”
The memories are trickling in slowly, almost as if they’re in the air and I have to jump up to catch them.
He speaks as if easing me into those recollections. “At Sebastian’s lake house. It was dark and we were both drunk. I knew it was you because I was trailing your ass, but you didn’t. At least, I thought you didn’t.” His nostrils flare. “You knew about that, too?”
“Of course I did.” I smile a little. “I was trailing your ass, too. I just wasn’t so obvious about it. That’s what I did, you know. I watched from afar, stalked from afar, and told myself it was enough. That night, it wasn’t. Could’ve been the alcohol or the fact that you were leaving the following morning and I would never see you again, but I had to be with you, even for one night.”
Tears stream down my cheeks as the intensity of my emotions at the time slams into me. Even though I was drunk, nothing could’ve lessened the ache or the fact that I’d have to live in a world without him.
It was when the gloomy cloud struck the hardest.
“So I snuck to Bastian’s lake house, knowing you’d follow me. I even removed the jacket and shoes on purpose. I needed to feel you, even if just once.”
“Fuck, Reina.” He slams his hand beside my head. “Fuck! Why didn’t you say anything?”
“It would’ve broken the spell. You hated me back then, Ash.” I gulp. “More than any time, I mean.”
“So you made me believe you were fine with a one-night stand with a nobody after you always pushed me away?” He almost sounds bitter.
“You weren’t a nobody. You were you.”
“I thought you allowed a stranger to fuck you, Reina. I fucking hated you for it even though it was me.”
“Small price to pay, I guess. Besides, I wouldn’t have given my virginity to a stranger.”
He pauses, and I pause, too, realizing what I just admitted.
Asher took my virginity. Fucking hell.
“I didn’t know that.” His brows furrow. “You didn’t bleed or anything. You weren’t in pain either.”
I shrug, my cheeks heating. “Because it didn’t hurt.”
At that point, I’d wanted Asher for so long, having sex with him had become my favorite fantasy, so when it actually came true, I couldn’t keep up with the fact that it was better than any fantasy I could’ve had.
Of course it didn’t hurt; I was too aroused for that.
He picks me up in his arms and cuts the distance from the hotel’s living room to the bedroom. I squeal as he throws me on the bed in pure caveman fashion. My heart stammers loud and hard as I lie on my back. Asher yanks down my jeans, and I grip his arm. “W-wait.”
