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'Do you think this discovery will change how you live your life from now on?' she asked quietly.
It was a perfectly reasonable question, he supposed—and yet he reacted badly to it, like someone allergic to strawberries being exposed to the refreshment tent at Wimbledon.
'You are suggesting there is something wrong with the way in which I live my life?'
Laura shrugged
'Aren't you?' he persisted softly 'I want to know, Laura '
What did she have to lose? They were hardly going to be bumping into each other on opposite sides of the Channel after this trip Once she might have been tempted to tell him in order to deflate some of his arrogance—but now she wanted to tell him for a very different reason Because she was a friend, and she cared
'Okay, then, I'll tell you,' she said 'Yours seems a rich life only in the most superficial of ways Like you're being carried along on a wave of luxury and not really connecting properly with people Like money matters and nothing else ' Her voice tailed off and she gave a little shrug 'That's all'
'That's all? You demolish my very existence and say that's all. You think your own life is so great, do you, Laura?'
'Of course I don't' she burst out frustratedly 'I knew this would happen. I'm not here to sit in judgement on you. Xavier—but you did ask'
Yes, he had—and she had told him, with breathtaking honesty. He could not think of a single other person in the world who would have had the courage to do that Was some of what she said right? he wondered.
'Why did you take this job?' he asked suddenly.
Laura stared hard at her fingers, which had acquired a faint tan from the Kharastan sun How much more of her honesty did he want—and how much of her story did she want to tell? But friendship—true friendship—wasn't one-sided
'Oh, the usual A man Josh'
'And you were in love with this Josf?' he said, scarcely believing that he should ask such a question. He was sounding like one of those men he had always despised. Like one of those jealous fools who were bothered by other men.
'I thought I was in love with him,' Laura answered 'But that may just have been my own justification for sleeping with him'
In one sentence she had exposed her relative innocence, and Xavier wondered if she was aware that her faint shudder had told him everything he needed to know about her physical relationship with this other man.
Was that what made him suddenly feel so guilty—the fact that he had judged her so harshly and made those false allegations against her?
'But, no, on reflection—it wasn't love,' she said, after a bit more thought 'He dazzled me—but he turned out to be shallow. He just seemed so exciting I'd worked hard to get my law degree—taken so many jobs durig the holidays because money was tight—that I'd never really stopped to have fun ' She gave a rueful smile 'And while Josh had the worst CV I've ever seen—he certainly knew how to have fun '
'What happened?'
Laura shrugged 'We bought a house in joint names, but our contribution to its upkeep was—how shall I put this?—unequal. Josh still wasn't working, and I was putting in more and more hours just to pay the bills. When he started playing around I knew I wanted him out of my life—but I wasn't prepared to lose the home I'd worked so hard for I'd spent my childhood in a series of rented flats, and I couldn't bear to go back to that way of life. And so when my boss suggested that the royal household of Kharastan needed a discreet lawyer urgently—well, it seemed like the answer to all my prayers I'd be able to buy Josh out and be free'
'Free?' he said thoughtfully
'That's right'
There was silence while Xavier thought about what she had told him He wanted to reach out to touch her, to run his hands over the slippery red satin of her hair But he had no right to do that.
For, while his lips might curve with disdain at the antics of her ex-boyfriend, in a way, wasn't he, Xavier, just as guilty of using her, of trying to impose his wishes on her as Josh had been?
He had spoken to Malik and asked—no, demanded that Laura stay here. But that had been when he'd imagined she would change her mind about sleeping with him again Because it was inconceivable that any women could not be seduced, or bent to his will.
But her quiet resolve had been firm, and suddenly Xavier was appalled at his own behaviour. His determination to succeed—or rather to have exactly what it was he wanted—had spilled over from his professional into his personal life And he didn't like it.
They were almost back at the Blue Palace—he could see the wide sweep of road which led to the mam gates and the pluming fountains beyond He knew what he needed to do.
'I won't hold you here any longer against your will, Laura,' he said heavily 'I should never have done so in the first place.You are free to leave at anytime. You can go home '
Laura had been staring out of the window at a bird with orange plumage, nestling in among the flowers on some beautiful unknown tree, and his words hit her like a bucket of cold water on a hot day Carefully, she composed her face into some sort of smile, hoping against hope that it masked her dismay.
'Home?' she questioned, as if it was a word in Kharastani that she was hoping to learn before they arrived back at the Palace.
