AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘Making the most of the few hours we have left, you mean?’ she questioned brightly.
‘No. Not just that.’
His voice had hardened and Sophie screwed up her nose in confusion. ‘What, then?’
Rafe shook his head. He’d tried to blot it out. To make like it didn’t matter, but he was discovering that this new yearning deep inside him did matter. And maybe it would always matter unless he did something about it. So do it. Do it now. He cleared his throat. ‘What if I came up with an alternative solution? Something which meant you wouldn’t have to go back to your old life. A solution which might suit both our...needs?’
She stared at him. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘Then hear me out.’ He paused. ‘I’ve been doing some thinking. In fact, a lot of thinking. About something Ambrose said to me at the christening.’
He met the question in her blue eyes as the enormity of what he was about to do hit him and his heart clenched with something like pain as he realised he was on the verge of doing what he’d spent his life trying to avoid. But even the fear wasn’t enough to stop him. He remembered holding his little nephew. The warmth and milky smell of him. The curly hair which had brushed against his cheek. Most of all, he remembered the sudden rush of yearning which had flooded through him and the realisation that having a child would be the only way he could heal the scars of his past. ‘My father asked who I was going to leave my fortune to and I told him that I was planning for it to go to charity,’ he said. ‘But in that moment I realised that I wanted what I’d never had.’
‘I don’t understand,’ she whispered.
There was another pause before he said it. Words he knew would create a line in the sand which he could never step back from.
‘A family,’ he said. ‘A real family.’
She leaned forward, her hand reaching out to take one of his. ‘Tell me,’ she whispered.
And suddenly Rafe needed no prompting. He felt her fingers curling around his. Heard the loud beat of his heart. And the words just came tumbling out. ‘Although come from a big family, I grew up not knowing my brothers or sister. My father kicked my mother out because of her behaviour and as a consequence, she and I were estranged from the rest of the Carter clan for years.’
‘Because of her behaviour?’
His mouth twisted. ‘Just how open-minded are you prepared to be, Sophie? How easily do you shock? My mother liked men. She liked them a lot. More than anything else.’ There was a pause and his mouth flattened. ‘Much more than me.’
‘Oh, Rafe.’
He shook his head to silence her. ‘After her divorce, she wasn’t looking for a replacement husband because her divorce payment had set her up very nicely. Her idea of fun was having the freedom to ensnare some hot young lover.’
She nodded, as if she was absorbing his words. ‘And what happened to you, while she was doing that?’
He shrugged. ‘I used to sit alone in hotel suites,’ he said. ‘Watching as she appeared in the tightest dress she could get away with—usually with her second or third martini in her hand. Sometimes she would come back that night, but often she didn’t rock up until the morning. I can’t count the number of strange men I encountered the next day amid the empty champagne bottles and cigarette butts.’ His words grew reflective. ‘Most kids hate being sent away to boarding school, but you know something? I loved it because it was safe and ordered and structured. It was the holidays I dreaded.’
‘Of course you did,’ she said, her gaze meeting his. ‘But why are you telling me all this?’
He didn’t look away, just stared straight into her bright, blue eyes. ‘Because when I held Nick and
Molly’s little boy in my arms, I realised what I’d been missing. I realised I wanted what I’d never had. A family of my own.’ His voice deepened. ‘And I think I could have one with you.’
Sophie’s heart began to pound, not sure whether to feel elated or confused. Dared she hope that his feelings had been changing, too? Was he hinting at the kind of future she had secretly started to wish for? Oh, please, she prayed. Please. ‘Me?’
He nodded. ‘Yes, you. You told me you’d like a family one day, well, so would I. You told me all the reasons that might not happen and I’m giving you all the reasons why it could. I can’t offer you love, but maybe that isn’t necessary since you are obviously a pragmatic woman. You told me you didn’t love Luc but you obviously recognise that arranged marriages can and do work.’
‘Did you say marriage?’ she echoed cautiously.
‘I did,’ he agreed, and now his voice deepened. ‘Because I can’t see that it could happen any other way.’
‘You would marry me simply to achieve your dream of having a family?’
‘Your dream, too,’ he pointed out. ‘And no, not just that. There are plenty of other reasons why it could work. We are compatible in many ways, Sophie—you know we are.’
Sophie was so appalled by how badly wrong she’d got it. She’d been thinking about love and clearly he was focussed on sex. ‘In bed, you mean?’
‘Yes, in bed. I have never wanted a woman as much as I want you. I only have to look at you to...well, you know what happens to me when I look at you.’ He smiled. ‘But this is about more than sex. You don’t bore me or rely on me to entertain you. And if you agree to marry me, I will promise to be faithful to you—of that I give you my vow. To be a good husband and a good father to our children. To support you in whatever you want to do.’ His eyes were as bright as quicksilver as they burned into her. ‘So what do you say? Will you be my wife, Sophie?’
It was a big question and Sophie knew the importance of taking your time with big questions, just as she knew you should never let your expression give away what was going on inside your head. She’d often thought a royal upbringing would have been great preparation for a career as a professional poker player and, although she’d never been remotely tempted by gambling, she was able to draw on those skills now.
