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‘I think we both struggled so hard to make it in our own careers that we forgot to put any work into the relationship,’ he said slowly. ‘And I think that once success arrived we felt that our lives were charmed and nothing bad could touch us.’
‘But we were wrong,’ she breathed.
‘Oh, yes.’
‘Oh, Matt,’ she said brokenly.
He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her tight against him, kiss away her cares, but she looked so tense—as if one touch would shatter her into a thousand pieces. In the dim light of the shuttered room he thought how pale her face looked.
‘And now?’ he questioned. ‘What must I do to ensure that there will be no regrets in the future?’
Be in love with me again, she thought. But you couldn’t ask for that. A precious gift like love could only be given, never demanded. ‘You think I have a magic formula?’
Now he noticed the shadows which darkened her eyes and he wanted to kiss them away—but he had forfeited the right to tenderness a long time ago. ‘I am burdening you with too many questions. So sleep,’ he instructed grittily. ‘I will leave you in the peace and the silence and you will sleep.’
And, miraculously, she did. For the first time since she had left Cannes—and maybe even before that—Jennifer slept as if someone had drugged her.
* * *
Sliding on a filmy white kaftan over her swimsuit, she left her hair loose beneath a wide-brimmed hat and went out into the bright sunshine to find Matteo.
He was lying on a lounger by the pool, wearing wraparound shades and reading a film script. He had on nothing but a pair of swim-shorts, and Jennifer’s feet faltered as she grew closer, for the sight of his near-bare body was utterly spectacular. And, let’s face it, she thought, you haven’t seen it for a long time.
His skin gleamed like olive satin, each muscle so carefully defined that he could quite easily have featured as an illustration in a medical student’s anatomy book. Dark hair curled crisply over his chest and arrowed down to a V over his hard, flat belly, darkening over the powerful shafts of his legs.
She blamed the heat for the sudden drying of her mouth as Matteo slowly lifted his head. His eyes were unseen behind the shades, but Jennifer knew that he’d been aware of her watching him.
‘Enjoying the view?’ he questioned softly.
She jerked her head to stare out at the sapphire stripe of distant sea. ‘It’s…exquisite.’
He smiled. ‘Come and sit down over here. I’ll fetch you something to drink.’
Her legs felt like cotton-wool, and inwardly she despaired. Wasn’t the whole point of being here to get herself fit and rested? If she started living on her nerves and constructing fantasies about her ex then she might as well have stayed in England and faced the press.
He brought her something cool and fizzing which tasted of lemons, and she gulped it down.
‘Hungry?’
‘Not really.’
‘Am I going to have to force-feed you, Jenny?’
‘No. Just give me a little time to acclimatise. Anyway, I ate on the plane—and I’m not stupid.’ She sank into a lounger. ‘Ooh, that’s nice!’
‘Isn’t it?’ He gave her a hard smile as his eyes flickered over her kaftan. ‘Aren’t you going to get a little sun on your body?’
What could she say? An excuse would sound feeble but the truth would sound far worse. That she felt suddenly and inexplicably shy about disrobing in front of him.
But you’re having his baby, for God’s sake! And you were married to him!
‘Of course,’ she said lightly, and turned her back.
Behind his dark glasses, a thoughtful look came into Matteo’s eyes. Shyness indicated that she was uncomfortable. Or was it something else? He leaned back against his lounger, affecting rest—but his body was tense as she turned around again and a sigh of something approaching wonder escaped from his lips.
In the bikini, her pregnant shape was like a visual feast—with its brand-new curves and soft shadows. He saw the swell of her belly properly for the first time and was filled with a fierce and primitive pride. For—no matter what the circumstances of the conception—nothing changed the fact that beneath her heart, his child grew.
His own heart pounded, and he swallowed down the sudden lump in his throat. His child.
