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‘Oh, I think we do. Or at least, I do.’ He sucked in a hot and unsteady breath. ‘I’ve come to say sorry.’
Roxy swallowed down the prick of tears—determined that he wouldn’t see her cry. Hadn’t she cried enough tears over him already—stupid, salt tears which had soaked her pillow night after night? ‘Sorry won’t cut it, I’m afraid,’ she said.
Titus met the look of stubborn fury on her face and felt his heart twist. Had he thought this would be straightforward? That a few words of apology would have her flying into his arms and covering his face with grateful kisses? He tensed. Perhaps he had.
‘I don’t blame you for being angry with me, Roxanne.’
‘That’s very generous of you.’
Slowly, he nodded, acknowledging her sarcasm as nothing more than his due. ‘I should have known that you’d never do something as cheap as exploiting our relationship to further your career.’
‘And when did you manage to work that out?’ she questioned tiredly.
‘When I realised that you wouldn’t be doing a job like this if you’d relaunched your career.’
She nodded. ‘But you couldn
’t just take my word for it, could you?’
He met the challenge in her eyes and it felt like having a sabre plunged deep into his chest. ‘No,’ he said harshly. ‘It seemed I couldn’t. I was a fool— and so I say to you again that I’m sorry. And believe me when I tell you that I will never misbelieve you again.’
She shook her head, steeling herself against the look of contrition which had darkened his steely eyes. He thought it was all so easy, didn’t he? Because it was. Everything always had been easy for Titus. Oh, maybe not his growing-up years, but certainly where women were concerned. He called the shots—and they let him. ‘You’re making it sound as if we have some kind of future together, Titus,’ she said. ‘And we don’t.’
‘But we could.’
‘No!’ Her word rang out with a bell-like clarity and she knew that she had to be brave enough to tell him. Because unless he understood that she meant this, then he might not give up. She knew that Titus hadn’t finished with her yet—that the sexual attraction which had always burned between them was still sizzling away. And that if she wasn’t careful, then their affair could be picked up and resumed. Could drag on for months—and where would that leave her when it finished once and for all? Feeling a million times worse than she did right now, that was where. But if she told him the truth then she wouldn’t see him for dust.
‘No, we couldn’t,’ she continued. ‘Like I said, we don’t have any kind of future together. End of story.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Why not?’
She stared at him, knowing that she had to be strong enough to admit her weakness. That she had to swallow her pride and tell him. She had to let him know that this wildly flamboyant gesture of hiring out the most expensive suite in the hotel—presumably so that he could drag her over to that enormous bed—didn’t actually mean anything. It was nothing to do with the real, emotional stuff—it was all about sexual gratification. And it was no longer enough. ‘Because I love you, Titus,’ she said quietly. ‘Because somewhere along the way—and even though I vowed it would never happen—I’ve fallen madly in love with you.’
‘Roxanne—’
‘No!’ she interrupted—the words bubbling up in her throat in their eagerness to be spoken. ‘Let me finish. I’ve fallen in love with you—but that happens to people all the time and they get over it. I’ll get over it. But what I will not get over is if we drag it out—every exquisite moment a step closer to the inevitable end. Because I know it can never be more than a casual fling to you. I know you’ll need to go hunting around for a suitable wife to give you the heir you require and you probably ought to do that sooner rather than later. I understand all that—I just don’t want to be an understudy for the role any more, that’s all.’
Titus felt his heart race as he listened to her passionate outburst. He realised how much courage it must have taken for her to admit to loving him, when he had never given her any indication that his feelings for her went beyond the simply carnal. He had taken and taken from her and never given anything back and now it looked as if he was about to reap the bitter consequences of such behaviour. Never before had he felt as if a situation was so delicately poised on the brink of triumph or disaster—as if she held his very happiness in the palm of her hand. So tell her, you fool. Reach out and tell her before it’s too late.
‘And I don’t want you to be an understudy,’ he said, his words sounding unsteady as he saw everything that he stood to lose. ‘I want you to take the starring role in my life. Because I love you, Roxanne. I love you so very much.’
‘No, you don’t!’ Roxy realised that she’d been gripping the chocolates so tightly that she’d squashed them and, furiously, she stuffed them into the pocket of her apron. ‘You’re just saying that because you want to have sex with me!’
‘That is true. I most definitely want to have sex with you,’ he said gravely. ‘But I also want to marry you. I want you to be mine—legally, physically and emotionally.’ He took a step towards her, his face tense. ‘I’ve been so wrong, Roxanne. I always thought I’d be forced to marry out of a sense of duty and that was why I looked on the prospect of marriage in the way a man might regard the hovering blade of a guillotine. But marrying for love is something entirely different. The thought of it fills me with … joy. And a very primitive kind of anticipation. I want to make you my wife. Or my Duchess, to be more precise.’
‘Stop it,’ she whispered. ‘Please will you stop it, Titus? Words are cheap. Anyone can say them and not mean them.’
‘I know they can,’ he said fiercely. ‘Which is why I didn’t come rushing straight round to tell you this last night. Why I forced myself to wait until today, even though the effort of doing that nearly killed me. But I had to wait until my bank was open.’
‘Your bank?’ she echoed in confusion, because for one crazy moment she thought he was talking about her wages, which she happened to know had been paid in full.
‘Yes. Or more specifically—the vaults in my bank.’
‘You’re not making any sense.’
‘Aren’t I? Then perhaps I’d better let my actions speak for me instead.’ He put his hand into the pocket of his trousers and drew out a small, very old-looking leather box and opened it. He heard Roxanne make a disbelieving little gulp, which became a shocked gasp when he dropped to one knee in front of her and took her trembling hand in his. ‘Roxanne Carmichael, I love you more than my uptight words can probably ever convey and if you would do me the honour of becoming my wife, then I would be the happiest man on the planet.’ He looked up at her and suddenly his voice was catching in his throat and he could feel the prick of tears behind his eyes. ‘Because I can’t bear to think of a future which doesn’t include you, my darling. My life has been so empty without you.’
Roxy was staring from his eyes to the ring, and then back to his eyes again and her mouth kept opening and then closing.
