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The fury and misery in him raged rampant in his eyes. “No,” he hissed. Grabbing her throat in his hand, he lay his thumb on her pulse, a hairsbreadth from pressing. “You,” he said in a savage snarl she had never, ever, heard before. “You listen to me.” His hand trembled and he let go of her. “It’s him or me.” Snatching the sash from the bed, he rammed it into her chest, where her clammy hand came up to cradle it against her.“You’ve only got one of those.You get one pick!”
Heath narrowed his eyes. “You’re going to regret this, Grey.”
“I already do.”
Toni laughed. That nervous, she’s-lost-her-mind laugh, and it was mingled with tears. She brought her fist to her mouth, trying to strangle the laugh, but the sounds that came out in the attempt were even worse, and it made both men stare at her incredulously.
Grey’s expression transformed from ominous fury to a twisted, pained grimace as he caught her face, streaming with tears, in both his hands. And then he was hauling her to him, crushing her in his arms.“Don’t cry on me now, Antonia. Don’t fucking do this to me now!”
The raw agony in his plea battered her. She tried sucking back the tears, but her sobs came from somewhere so deep and wretched. She couldn’t even say from where; only that she couldn’t stop them. The tears flowed unchecked and her body spasmed, racked by the force with which they tore from her. She had never clutched his shoulders so hard, so violently.
Then something happened. His arms tightened surprisingly harder around her, and Grey buried his face deep in her hair and choked on the most awful, heart-wrenching sound she’d ever heard, and she knew he was sobbing, too.
He had never held her so hard, hard enough to crush her bones, and she wanted to disintegrate right there in his arms.
But instead, a moment later he was transferring—transferring her, fast and not gently, to another pair of arms, and his footsteps sounded across the room. He was leaving. So fast. So surely. Like he couldn’t wait to get out of there. Out of her life.
Toni sagged at the definitive click of the door. She fell in a heap at Heath’s feet, tears rolling down her cheeks in rivers.
Heath kneeled before her, collecting her—all limp bones and muscles that felt lax with grief—against him.“Cat. Sweetheart.” He gathered her close and rocked her, and she knew by the way his hands shook that he was at a loss, that he’d never handled a woman in this situation before, and no matter how she tried, she could not seem to compose herself for him, either.
“Toni, I’ve ruined your life. Jesus, I’ve ruined your life.”The way he spoke it as he rocked her, like a chant of hatred, a curse at himself, made her wipe at her tears with furious hands.
“No, don’t say that.”
“Yes, I have.Yes, I have. Oh, baby, I have.”
Tenderly, she filled her palms with the tightness of his jaw, crying softly. “I love you. Grey loves you, too—you’re like his brother. He’s too stubborn to admit it.”
He was gripping at her, rubbing against her
. “Use me.” He was pulling at her hair, ravaging her neck.“Use me for what you need. I can be Grey for you. I’ll make love to you. I’ll tell you all the things he—”
“Heath, stop it, stop!” she cried anxiously, and locked her eyes on his. “You’re my Heath. Stop this.”
“Oh, Cat, this is killing me.” His back against the wall, he shifted her onto his lap and petted her hair so roughly, she thought he’d tear it out at the roots. His voice was gruff and affected.“I’ve never felt like this before, did you know?”
“I know.”
“Look at me.”
She did. She looked into those eyes, luminous on hers, expressive and meltingly tender. She grazed her cheek across the familiar calluses in his palms as he cradled her. “I missed you, Heath Solis.”
He was drinking up her face as though it were his only sustenance. “I missed you every day, Cat, every single day. Christ, I don’t want to leave. I swore to myself nothing would make me leave this time. But if I stay he won’t come back.”
“He will, Heath, he will!”
“He won’t, Cat. He’s stubborn as they come.”
“But he loves me,” she said brokenly.
The grim set of Heath’s mouth and the bleak look in his eyes had her wildly shaking her head in denial before he even spoke his thoughts out loud. “If I stay, you lose him.”
“Don’t say that—that’s not true!”
“I’m no match for Grey,Toni.”
“You are! You make me smile—I adore being with you, I want you in my life, and Grey adores you, damn him. I hate him!”
