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Christ, give me strength to let her go.
I take a deep breath as I shut the door and then walk toward the plane. Reaching the steps to the entrance of the jet, Ariana stops and turns to face me. She swallows hard and then lifts her eyes to mine.
My pain reflects in her hazel eyes, and unable to stop myself, I move forward and frame her face. Crushing my mouth to hers, I kiss her with every ounce of love I feel for her. I pour myself into her, praying this won’t be the last time I get to taste her.
My body begins to tremble when she kisses me back with the same intensity.
God, it feels like you love me, Malyshka. How can you kiss me like this and not know what you feel for me?
Ariana breaks the kiss, and I press my forehead to hers. “I love you so fucking much. Don’t ever forget that.”
Her face is torn with emotion as she pulls away from me, and then she climbs the steps and hurries into the cabin of the jet.
I somehow manage to take a couple of steps backward, and too soon, the plane begins to move.
It tears my heart from my body to watch the jet pick up speed until it lifts off the ground.
I take a shuddering breath, and then my sight blurs. I blink quickly so I can see the jet until it fades into the sky.
My legs give way, and I sink to my knees. As the distance grows between the only woman I’ll ever love and me, I manage to press the panic button on my watch because I don’t have the strength to get up again.
What do I do if Ariana doesn’t come back? How do I live without her?
I can’t.
I can’t imagine not ever getting to hold her again. Not kissing her. Not having her glare at me. Not hearing her moans of pleasure.
Christ.
I press a hand to my chest, the pain unbearable.
I hear tires screech, and a couple of seconds later, Alexei crouches in front of me. “What are you doing here?”
Lifting my eyes to my friend’s, I say, “Ariana left.”
“What?” Shock ripples over Alexei’s face, and he glances around the airfield, then back at me. “Why?”
I gasp through the relentless ache. “She’s not sure how she feels about me. She wanted to go home.”
Alexei’s arms wrap around me, and I break down.
For the first time in my life, I fall to pieces.
“We’ll figure things out,” Alexei says as he pulls me to my feet.
I shake my head. “What if she doesn’t love me? I can’t force her.”
Alexei grabs my shoulders hard and locks eyes with me. “Ariana loves you. I saw it clear as day when you got shot. That woman loves you, Demitri.”
“Why would she leave then?”
“That’s what we have to figure out.” Alexei keeps an arm around my shoulder and shouts at Sacha, who came with him, “Take the other SUV back to the house.”
If Alexei is right, and he’s seldom wrong, then why would Ariana leave?
I climb into the passenger's side of Alexei’s SUV, and when he slides in behind the steering wheel, I say, “I don’t know where to start.”
My ability to focus has been shot to shit. Ariana turned my world upside down, and without her near me, it’s hard to think.
“You’re going to pack a bag and go after her. You’re going to watch her and find out why she ran,” Alexei answers.
“I said I’d give her time.”
“You can give her time and still watch her,” he mutters. “Fuck, I’m never loving a woman if it’s going to mess with my head the way it’s messing with yours.”
Chapter 31
ARIANA
Sitting down, I strap the seat belt over my lap, and then I wrap my arms around myself as the first sob tears through me.
God, it hurts too much.
The plane begins to move, and I let out a cry, covering my mouth to smother the sound. My body shudders hard, and my chest tightens painfully as the heartache engulfs me.
I love you, Demitri.
You’ll never know how much.
You saved me in so many ways.
You showed me a world where loyalty does exist.
You taught me what real love is.
The cries come violently, making my chest ache until it’s hard to breathe. My face feels feverish, the tears doing nothing to cool my skin.
Save more lives.
Continue to be the incredible man you are.
Live for me. Live a long life kicking ass with Alexei.
I’ll never forget you. Not for a day. Not for a second.
As I double over from the unbearable pain, I flee to the memories I have of Demitri, hoping to get some comfort from them.
The way he walks. Every step filled with power.
The way he looks at me, seeing right into my soul.
His touch when his fingers brush over my skin.
