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“Do you really lose the capacity, or do you just block it out?”
“I’m definitely a good blocker of emotions. It’s a practiced talent.” She flashed a sad smile. “Have you ever had your heart broken?”
I shook my head. “I’ve only had one serious girlfriend...in secondary school. I ended up cheating on her. I was too young for a relationship at the time. I wouldn’t stay with someone today if I were going to do that. But back then, I was just a stupid teenager.”
“And beyond her you haven’t had a girlfriend?”
“I’ve dated a lot, but nothing serious, no.”
“You’re a playboy. Am I right?”
“I was. But it’s not a bad thing if you’re not leading anyone on, right?”
“You said you were…in the past tense. You don’t consider yourself a player anymore?”
“Since arriving here I’m not living the playboy lifestyle, nor do I care to at the moment.”
“You seem to care so much about what your parents think. They don’t care that you play the field back home?”
“There’s an unspoken rule where I come from that anything you do before marriage, while it shouldn’t be spoken of in great detail, is fair game. But the closer I get to thirty, the more pressure there is to settle down.”
“Why thirty, specifically?”
“It’s always been a magic number in my family. Every man has gotten married by the time he was thirty. My father seems to expect the same from me.”
“Thirty is still so young.”
“The thing is, I don’t believe I’ve told you this, but my father has been battling cancer for several years. He doesn’t think he has all that much time left. I sometimes feel this pressure to get settled in case something happens to him, so that he’ll die in peace, knowing things will continue as they should.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. I didn’t know.” She paused. “Why does he care so much whether you’re married as long as you can continue to do his work for him?”
“It has to do with continuing the family name. He wants to be assured that I will, in fact, marry and have a male child someday. It seems to be all he cares about. My father’s entire side of the family is adamant that there’s no use for me if I don’t procreate. Not to mention, one of my father’s sisters and her kids are very bitter that the family inheritance will go to me and not them. It’s just the way it’s written, not my choice. So they try to make my life miserable when they can.”
“Like how?”
“One of my cousins is a real pill. She tipped off the press once when I was on vacation, and they printed photos of me tanning naked.”
“Ugh.” She cringed. “That’s not Sig’s family, is it?”
“No. Sigmund is my cousin on my mother’s side. A much nicer, but crazier, bunch.”
“I’m sorry you’ve got to deal with that.”
“There are worse lives to live. I know I’m privileged. I don’t have a right to complain.”
“No, but it’s your personal struggle. Even if it doesn’t compare to what many people have to go through in this world, you have a right to be angry or frustrated, especially when it comes to your family betraying your trust.”
“Thank you for always making me see things in a different light.” I reached for her hand. “It’s why I can’t help wanting to be around you.” I considered asking her to dinner tonight, but didn’t want to overwhelm her, since we’d spent the entire day together. I pulled my hand away. “Today was a long day. I’m sure you’re dying for a shower, just as I am.”
“Are you saying I need one?” She chuckled.
“No, you smell delicious even when you’re sweating.” I’d lick every ounce of sweat off her body right now, if I could.
When we pulled up to Felicity’s, I ached to lean in and kiss her. But it had been a weird day with her ex showing up and all, and I didn’t want to push anything right now. So as much as I yearned to taste her lips again, I simply said, “I’ll call you.”
“Uh…okay.” She flashed a hesitant smile.
Is she upset?
Her eyes fell to my mouth, and it occurred to me that maybe she’d expected me to kiss her. But before I could rectify anything, Felicity exited the truck. I waited to make sure she was inside before taking off.
Sigmund was in the kitchen when I entered the house. “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been texting you all day.”
“Sorry. I’ve been busy and didn’t check my phone.”
I’d forgotten that he was returning today from his trip to Newport.
“Busy? What the hell have you been up to?” he asked.
For a split second, I considered keeping my reconciliation with Felicity to myself, but my astute and annoying cousin would figure it out soon enough.
