AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Felicity closed her eyes and hugged the pony closer as she ran her hands along its mane. Then she finally looked up at me. “I don’t know that I can handle it.”
I swallowed. “Can’t handle…keeping in touch with me?”
She nodded.
“You’re suggesting we never speak to each other again?” I was shocked. “I don’t know if I can do that, Felicity. At the very least, I need to know you’re okay. I can’t just erase you.”
“This is painful for me, too. I don’t know what the right answer is. But I don’t think I can handle hearing about you moving on, getting married, having children someday.”
In all of the time I’d known her, I’d never once gotten the impression that she would want to lose contact altogether. Maybe that was naïve of me. I knew we couldn’t be together. But to never see or hear from her again? It seemed unimaginable. Panic washed over me.
“Is this negotiable at all?”
A distraught look crossed her face. “Leo…”
My priority needed to be what was best for her. Maybe my need to keep in touch was selfish. Or maybe it was an attempt to hold on to the last shreds of hope that it wouldn’t be the end of us. If my priority was truly to prevent the most damage from my departure, maybe she was right, as painful as it was to imagine never seeing or hearing from her again.
“I will do whatever you want, Felicity. It hurts, but I won’t blame you for not wanting to keep in touch. It won’t alter the amazing memories I have of you in any way. I will respect your decision, even if it’s hard to accept right now.”
“You think it’s what I want?” She shook her head slowly, her voice trembling. “It’s just what I can handle, you know?”
“Come here.” When she started to cry, I reached out and pulled her into my arms.
Taking a long, deep breath of her scent, I felt my chest constrict. I decided to be honest with her in a way I hadn’t intended to up until this very moment.
“This morning I was wracking my brain, trying to figure out a way to make this work.”
She pulled away and looked up at me with wide eyes.
“Leaving my family would obviously be difficult. Everything I’m obligated to handle is there. The promises I’ve made my father won’t be possible unless I’m permanently in England. But over the past couple of days, I’ve wrestled with the idea of begging you to come to the UK with me.”
Felicity seemed shocked, her eyes wide. “I’m surprised to hear you say that.”
“Then you’ve underestimated my feelings for you.”
“I just never thought you’d even consider that.”
Despite all of my grandmother’s advice, I needed to know. “Would you say yes if I asked you to take the risk and be with me?”
She blinked, looking tormented. “I honestly don’t know.”
Her hesitation spoke volumes. If there was apprehension now, once she got to England, the stress that greeted us would only solidify that she’d made the wrong decision. She’d have to be a hundred-percent sure going into it, and she was far from that.
“I spoke to my grandmother this morning about it. I trust her more than anyone and wanted her honest opinion. She helped me see that even though asking you to come home with me might be what I want, it wouldn’t be fair to you. To ask you to drop everything and become accustomed to a life so different from what you’re used to wouldn’t be in your best interest. Not to mention, the vultures would come out and try to make your life miserable—maybe not forever, but definitely at first. I don’t know that I could ever forgive myself if I disrupted you in the prime of your life in such a way.”
But fuck, if you told me yes, I’d risk it all.
Felicity nodded. “If you did ask me…just know that I would want to say yes. But I don’t think your grandmother is incorrect. I don’t have any clue what I’d be getting into. I wouldn’t want to put that kind of stress on you, either—to have to worry about how people treated me. And there’s this little thing called law school I’m supposed to be doing. Moving to England would derail that for a while. I just don’t know how we could make it work, even if we wanted to.”
I pulled her to me again and spoke into her ear. “So how do we handle the weeks we have left? Tell me what you want.”
Speaking against my shoulder, she said, “I still want to see you every day. We’ll just take it moment by moment…until there are no moments left.”
I sighed. There was no other way to handle this. “It’s getting hot out, eh?” I reached for her hand. “Let’s go inside.”
