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When he pulled back, he looked in my eyes again. “We’ve been apart far longer than we were ever together, yet I haven’t been the same since I met you. I don’t care how we make this work…only that we try.”
“Where do we start?”
“How about dinner?”
“Only if you’re not making it.”
His face lit up. “I missed you so fucking much.”
Leo brought me into his arms again and held me even more tightly than before. This felt different from any other time. Until now, I hadn’t realized the tension that had marred every past embrace. I was always afraid to exhale. I’d always believed I’d lose him. But I wasn’t tense this time. I let myself feel safe in his arms without worrying about the future—for the first time ever.
A little while later, Leo went back across the bay to give me some time to grab my bearings before dinner. We agreed that I would come over around eight that evening. Alone in the house, adrenaline continued to course through me, even though I was supposed to be calming down. I felt like I was in the middle of a dream.
He was still technically married. I wished I had a better understanding of his expectations for tonight, but I guessed I’d find out soon enough.
When evening came, I drove myself to Leo’s rental. A feeling of déjà vu hit me the moment I pulled up to the house. Everything about this moment looked and felt the same as five years ago, aside from the fact that I now drove a small SUV rather than my old Fiat.
I had the jitters as I approached the door. Before I could ring the bell, he opened.
Leo wore a fitted black sweater that looked like it had been painted onto his broad chest. He’d dabbed on cologne, and his hair was damp from the shower. I’m sure it was partly how much I’d missed him, but he’d never looked more gorgeous.
“Come inside from the cold, beautiful.”
Leo took my coat and hung it in the closet. I wore a brown sweater dress that showed off my curves.
He smiled as he took me in. “You’re wearing a dress.”
“You say that like it’s a shock.” I batted my eyelashes.
“Well, I can count on one hand the times I’ve seen you in a dress, and this would be number three. The first was the red one the night we had clams—the night you devastated me when you told me we shouldn’t see each other anymore. Then there was the black dress you wore when you showed up in England. I suppose that was the day I devastated you.”
“Gosh, I probably shouldn’t wear dresses, should I? They’re bad luck.”
He flashed his gorgeous teeth. “Come. I have a surprise.”
I followed him to the kitchen. On the counter, he’d laid out a seafood feast. There was a tower of shrimp cocktail, oysters, and lobster.
“Did you rob a fisherman?”
“I know you love seafood. But I wasn’t sure what you’d be in the mood for, so I ordered multiple things.”
“This is your MO. It reminds me of the time you went to Dunkin’ Donuts and came back with every pastry under the sun.”
“See?” he said. “I’m not the only one who remembers the details of when we were together.”
“Most of it’s ingrained in my memory.”
“Yeah,” he said. “I’ve struggled to hold onto all of it, not wanting any of those memories to disappear.”
My eyes returned to the food. “This feels so surreal, Leo. I keep thinking I’m going to wake up, and you’re gonna be gone again.”
“It feels surreal for me, too, but in a good way. I feel free for the first time in my life. And on cloud nine. But still, I’m so hesitant to do anything that might hurt you or to presume that you’re ready to start over with me so easily, given everything that happened in England.”
“It’s funny that you use the words start over. For some odd reason, that’s what this feels like—a first date,” I said.
“In a way, it is a new beginning.”
“You’ve given up a lot to be here.”
“My showing up now is far from a fairytale. I know that. This is real life, a bit different from the whirlwind summer we once had. But you know, I’d rather have this than that. Because back then, there was always the feeling of dread that I’d have to leave you. And that’s gone now. I have my freedom, and I’m determined to live my truth—not to let anything or anyone get in the way of what I want in life. Despite all the money and power I have back home, from the moment I met you, Felicity, there was nothing I’ve wanted more than to be your boyfriend. And nothing ever changed that.” Leo reached for me. “You know what else never changed?” He took my hand and placed it on his chest. “The way my heart beats for you.”
