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That made no sense at all.
“Better make it an even seven hundred,” said X-Ray. “Just in case.”
Seven hundred. That would leave him with only a hundred and fifty-seven dollars. A hundred and fifty-seven dollars after three months of working.
“That’s not a problem, is it?”
“No. No problem,” said Armpit.
“You’ll still double your money,” X-Ray assured him. “Guaranteed. So really, you’ll be making more money this way.”
Despite all his efforts, he was sticky with sweat after walking the five blocks from home to school. At eight-fifty-five in the morning the temperature was already in the mid-eighties, and the humidity made it seem even hotter.
Tatiana had her back to him when he entered the room. She was talking to her friend Claire. Tatiana had two long braids, which actually connected at the tips, forming a giant V. He’d never seen any other girl wear her hair that way, but everything about Tatiana was a little bit goofy. That was what he liked about her. That, and the fact that she smiled at him.
“Hey, Tatiana,” he said, trying to sound casual, but he was too casual and she didn’t hear him. He said it again, a little louder and more abruptly.
She turned. “What?”
“Uh, nothing. Just wanted to say hi.”
“Hi,” she said, but without the smile.
Speech class always made him nervous even when there was no speech due. Coach Simmons sometimes called on students to speak extemporaneously. Armpit had a fear of standing at the front of the room, not knowing what to say, sweating, as Tatiana stared at him. He had a hard enough time even when he’d prepared a speech.
Fortunately, there were no extemporaneous speeches this day.
Most of the class period was spent discussing the next major assignment. Everyone had to bring a stuffed animal to school and give a campaign speech for it. Then there would be an election to see which stuffed animal would be elected ruler of the world.
“I don’t even have a stuffed animal,” Armpit said aloud as he walked out of the classroom.
There was a laugh, with just a little bit of a snort mixed with it. “You are so funny,” Tatiana said, touching his arm.
He didn’t even know she was there, and hadn’t tried to be funny, but he was glad she thought he was.
“I hear you’re going out for football next year,” she said.
“No, I just wanted Coach Simmons to think that. He gives better grades to football players.”
“So you lied to him?” asked Tatiana. “Isn’t that kind of cheating?”
Armpit shrugged.
How could it be cheating? It was unfair that the coach gave better grades to football players, and he was just trying to even things out. However, by the time he put those thoughts together Tatiana had already walked away.
His other class was economics. Armpit liked Mr. Warren, a bald-headed white guy, but he had trouble understanding all the graphs. Somehow by looking at the graphs he was supposed to be able to tell what would happen to the price of a cup of coffee if there was a drought in Brazil. It made about as much sense to him as a fifty-five-dollar ticket costing sixty dollars.
Part of his problem was that half the stuff Mr. Warren talked about had nothing to do with the assignments.
“I have here a ten-dollar bill,” Mr. Warren said, taking it out of his wallet and holding in the air for all to see. “I’ll sell it to the highest bidder. Do I hear fifty cents?”
Armpit wasn’t quite sure what he meant by that, and he wasn’t the only one. Most of the class seemed confused, but then Matt Kapok, a kid in the front row, offered fifty cents.
“Going once, going twice—”
“Wait a second,” said the girl who sat next to Armpit. “You mean you’re going to sell your ten-dollar bill to Matt for fifty cents?”
“Yep,” said Mr. Warren. “Unless I get a better offer.”
