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Of course she didn’t. He knew that. He knew he had to be hearing something wrong.
Finally, at the very end of the song everything slowed down. The music got real soft, and the backup singers were silent, and even the audience was hushed. Kaira, under a single spotlight, seemed especially alone and vulnerable as she half sang, half whispered the very last words.
“Save me, Armpit.
A damsel in distress.”
At least, that was what he heard.
“So?” Armpit asked Ginny as they both stood and applauded.
“I like that song,” said Ginny.
Kaira followed that with the fast-paced “Frying Pan,” during which the words seemed to just shoot out of her mouth like bullets.
“An overworked, underloved, housewife named Myra
Has dinner in the skillet, and a load in the dryer.
When a magazine salesman comes to inquire
If she would like to be a magazine buyer,
One look in his eyes, and she’s filled with desire.
She buys a subscription to Time, and one to Esquire.
‘Is there anything else, ma’am, that you require?’
She says, ‘Take me out of the frying pan . . .
And into the fire!’?”
Armpit was amazed Kaira could get all the words out. There were three more verses, and each seemed to be faster than the one before it.
“Whew!” Kaira exclaimed when the song ended, and the audience laughed and applauded.
“Golly,” Kaira said. “So many of these songs seem to be about sex!”
This was greeted by hoots and more applause.
“You’d never guess I’m a virgin.”
The crowd went wild over that, and the guitar player made a noise that sounded like he popped a string.
Every part of the concert was carefully planned and scripted, but Kaira had never said that before. The words just came out of her mouth. For once, she was having fun. She turned and waved to Ginny and her friend. Ginny waved back, but her friend looked stunned, like a deer in headlights.
The band launched into the next song.
“I’m gonna take you for a ride,
And we’re gonna have some fun!
I’m gonna take . . .”
Armpit and Ginny turned and looked at each other. This had become their song. They rose to their feet and remained standing throughout the song.
“Whoo!” Armpit shouted.
