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“I wouldn’t know, sir.”
“Yes, you would. She’s not here. You’d know if she was here.”
Armpit thanked X-Ray for the ride, then walked through the revolving door into the hotel.
The inside of the hotel reminded Armpit of pictures he’d seen of ancient Greek temples, with stone pillars and marble floors. He had no idea where he was supposed to go. The concierge seemed too intimidating, so he asked one of the bellhops, who directed him to the house phone.
Armpit picked up the receiver and dialed zero.
“How may I direct your call?” the operator asked him.
He hung up.
He’d forgotten the name she’d given him. It was the lady from Bewitched, he knew that, but he couldn’t remember her name. He could picture her perfectly, and could even hear the musical notes they played whenever she twitched her nose. Mary? Mindy? He was pretty sure it started with an “M.”
A family of four came out of the elevator and headed in his direction. They all had blond hair. The husband could have been a tennis pro, and the wife looked like a model. The girls were twins, about seven or eight years old.
“Excuse me,” Armpit said. “You ever watch the show Bewitched?” He knew he must have sounded crazy.
The father crossed in front of his daughters to protect them. He would have kept on going, hurrying his family along, but the mother stopped.
“What about it?” she asked.
“Do you remember the name of the woman, you know, the one who was the witch?”
She tried to remember. They all did.
“Elizabeth Montgomery,” said the father.
“That doesn’t sound right,” said Armpit.
“I’m sure,” said the father.
“That’s the name of the actress,” Armpit realized. “I need the name of the person on the show. You know, the name of the character.”
“Oh, I thought you wanted the name of the actress,” the father said, disappointed not to have been given the credit he thought he deserved.
“Her husband’s name was Darren,” said the wife.
“Samantha,” said one of the girls.
“That’s right!” said her mother. “Darren called her Sam, but her name was Samantha. Very good, Ashley.”
“Do you remember her last name, Ashley?” Armpit asked the girl.
“Stevens,” the father declared proudly. “Samantha Stevens.”
“Thanks.” Armpit picked up the phone and asked the operator for Samantha Stevens.
The blond family stared at him. “Is she staying at this hotel?” asked the father.
Five minutes later Kaira DeLeon stepped off the elevator, along with Fred, her bodyguard. Kaira wore denim shorts and a sleeveless top that stopped above her belly button. Her yellow toenails matched her flip-flops.
“How ya doin’, Knuckles?” she greeted him.
“Hi,” he said.
“Was that it?” she asked. “Is Knuckles your name?”
