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“No!” Jason screamed. “Don’t let her kiss me, Mrs. Jewls. Throw water on me. Tickle me. Cut off my pants. Hang me upside down from the ceiling. But don’t let her kiss me!”
“I’ll just kiss him on the nose,” said Joy.
“We’ve got nothing to lose, Jason,” said Mrs. Jewls.
“Oooooh, who would want to kiss Jason!” said Allison.
Jason hung helplessly upside down.
Joy stepped up and kissed him on the nose.
Jason fell out of the chair and hit his head on the floor.
Rondi and Allison giggled.
“Darn,” said Todd. “Now I’ll have to go home alone again.”
Joy erased her name from the blackboard.
? Sideways Stories from Wayside School ?
13
Rondi
Rondi had twenty-two beautiful teeth. Everyone else had twenty-four. Rondi was missing her two front teeth. And those were the most beautiful teeth of all.
“Your front teeth are so cute,” said Mrs. Jewls. “They make you look just adorable.”
“But, Mrs. Jewls,” said Rondi. “I don’t have any front teeth.”
“I know,” said Mrs. Jewls. “That’s what makes them so cute.”
Rondi didn’t understand.
“Oooh, Rondi, I just love your two front teeth,” said Maurecia. “I wish I had some like that.”
“But I don’t have them,” said Rondi.
“That’s why I love them so much,” said Maurecia.
“Oh, this is silly,” said Rondi. “Everybody thinks the teeth I don’t have are cute. I’m not wearing a coat. Don’t you all just love my coat? And what about my third arm? I don’t have one. Isn’t it lovely?”
“Love your hat, Rondi,” said Joy.
“I’m not wearing a hat!” Rondi screamed.
“That’s what makes it so interesting,” said Joy. “Don’t you think so, Leslie?”
“Oh, yes,” said Leslie. “It’s a very nice hat. Nice boots, too.”
“I’m not wearing boots!” Rondi insisted.
“Yes,” said Joy, “very nice boots. They go so well with your hat.”
“What hat?” asked Rondi.
“Yes,” Leslie agreed. “Rondi showed excellent taste by not wearing the hat or the boots. They go so well together.”
