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He flicked on the microphone. “MRS. JEWLS! SEND ME ANOTHER ERIC!”
Twenty-nine floors above them, Mrs. Jewls looked at the two remaining Erics.
“Okay, Eric Ovens,” she said.
Eric Ovens shivered. His eyes filled with tears.
Why me? he asked himself over and over again as he walked down the stairs. It’s my parents’ fault! Why did they have to name me Eric? Why couldn’t they name me Osgood?
He tapped on the door to the principal’s office.
“Come in!” bellowed Mr. Kidswatter.
Eric Ovens gulped, then walked inside. He sat in the little chair in front of Mr. Kidswatter’s enormous desk.
Eric Fry was nowhere to be seen.
“Wh-what ha-happened to Eric Fry?” he asked.
“I’ll ask the questions!” barked Mr. Kidswatter. “But don’t worry, Eric,” he said gently. “You have nothing to fear. So long as you tell the truth.” He cracked his knuckles.
Eric Ovens was very scared. Mrs. Jewls always said that there was more than one answer to every question. He hoped he gave Mr. Kidswatter the right ones.
“Did you have a spelling test last Friday?” Mr. Kidswatter asked.
“Yes,” said Eric Ovens. “How did you know that?”
“I have my ways,” Mr. Kidswatter said slyly, behind his mirrored glasses. “When was the last time you sharpened your pencil?”
“This morning,” said Eric Ovens. “Maurecia accidentally stepped on it and—”
“Did you play kickball yesterday at a quarter after twelve?”
“No, I played tetherball.”
“Right- or left-handed?”
“Right.”
Mr. Kidswatter tossed a stapler at him.
Eric caught it with his right hand.
Mr. Kidswatter scowled. “Okay, Eric, tell me this. Have you ever gotten your hair cut at Charley’s Barber Shop?”
“No, but I will. I’ll go right now if you want.”
“You’re not going anywhere!” shouted Mr. Kidswatter. “Have you ever heard of a Mugworm Griblick?”
Eric Ovens screamed.
Upstairs, Mrs. Jewls heard Mr. Kidswatter’s voice resound over the loudspeaker. “MRS. JEWLS, SEND ME THE LAST ERIC!”
“On my way!” said Eric Bacon. He hopped out of his chair and bounced down the stairs.
He didn’t bother knocking on Mr. Kidswatter’s door. He just walked right in. “What can I do for you?” he asked.
There was no sign of Eric Ovens.
