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Mr. Kidswatter’s voice came over the loudspeaker. “Good morning, boys and girls!”
There was the usual pause.
“I have a very important announcement,” said Mr. K. “Elevators have been installed in Wayside School!”
For a second, the kids on the thirtieth floor were too stunned to speak. Then everyone went crazy!
“Yahooooo!” yelled Sharie.
“Hot diggity dog!” shouted Dameon.
Everyone was yelling and jumping.
“Zippity doo dah!” shouted Mrs. Drazil.
Cheers could be heard coming from every classroom in Wayside School. The higher the classroom, the louder the cheers.
“Now, before you all rush out and use the elevators,” said Mr. Kidswatter, “I want to talk a little bit about elevator safety.
“I don’t want the same kind of chaos that we have on the stairs every day. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you. When you go up the stairs, stay to the right. When you come down the stairs, stay to the left. But still, everyone keeps bumping into each other.
“Well, that won’t happen on the elevators. I have personally designed a special safety system.
“There are two elevators. One is blue. One is red. When you want to go up, you take the blue elevator. When you want to go down, you take the red elevator. It’s that simple. It can’t go wrong! The blue one only goes up. And the red one only goes down.
“By the way, has anyone seen my coffeepot?”
And so, at last, Wayside School got elevators. A blue one and a red one. They each worked perfectly one time — and never could be used again.
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Chapter 21
Open Wide
The good news: Jason got to leave school early.
The bad news: He had a dentist appointment.
“I’ll never ever eat candy again,” he promised the Tooth God as he headed down the stairs. “And I’ll brush my teeth after every meal. I promise. Even if it’s just a snack. I’ll bring my toothbrush to school! Just please, please don’t let her find any cavities.”
“I’ve heard that song before,” answered a voice inside his head. “Every time you go to the dentist, it’s the same thing. But then, a week later, you’re eating candy and forgetting to brush your teeth.”
“This time I really, really mean it,” Jason promised.
“Too late,” said the voice.
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An hour later Jason was lying on his back in the dentist chair.
“Open,” said the dentist.
His dentist was named Dr. Payne. She had long fingers and even longer fingernails.
Jason opened his big mouth. He had the second biggest mouth in his class.
“Wider,” said Dr. Payne.
