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"If this ends... badly." I put my head in my hands and tried to push the thought out of my head. Maybe she will finally see that this is serious. That I could... gulp... kill her at any moment. I could breathe her delectable scent in and one day the monster might break free from the darkness I put him in and decide to taste the delicious blood that I could see pulsing on her neck. I heard her drop her hand on the table. I kept trying to push those thoughts away, but then I took in a large gulp of her rich aroma. Instantly the monster reared up.
I heard Bella's shaky voice then, "And you have to leave now?"
The monster retreated then. "Yes," wait, she wasn't.... scared? She still didn't want me to leave? I relaxed and couldn't help but look delighted, "It's probably for the best. We still have fifteen minutes of that wretched movie left to endure in Biology ?C I don't think I could take any more."
Bella gave me a look like she completely understood what I meant, she must have been feeling the same way about the dull movie, not like I was watching it anyways.
It's time to meet Bella! Yay! Alice trilled in her mind. I could see the back of my head from her vision as she skipped over to the table.
"Alice," I said.
"Edward," she answered, and added, this is where you introduce us, in her thoughts.
"Alice, Bella ?C Bella, Alice," I introduced them, hoping that Alice won't start bugging me every five minutes about hanging out with her. I only barely obtained Bella, and I didn't want Alice to take all her time away from me.
"Hello, Bella," Alice smiled, "It's nice to finally meet you."
Once again I saw a vision of her and Bella arm in arm, smiling at each other, Bella's eyes bright, crimson red. I shot a dark look at her.
"Hi, Alice," Bella whispered shyly.
"Are you ready?" Alice asked me. I didn't want to leave Bella, but I was more than happy to remove Alice from her, "Nearly, I'll meet you at the car."
I met Bella, yay. Edward, you know this means that we get to start hanging out right? Alice beamed.
I glanced at Bella and as she watched Alice dance away.
"Should I say 'have fun,' or is that the wrong sentiment?" she asked, looking back at me.
Her expression showed a painful emotion, like me leaving her for a short moment in time would cause her great pain. She was so nonchalant about talking about my world that I couldn't help but grin.
"No, 'have fun,' works as well as anything." I said.
"Have fun, then" she said, I could tell there was an edge to her voice. Was she going to miss me while I was away? Being separated from her was overwhelmingly painful, was she feeling this way too? She couldn't possibly grasp the concept of the kind of love I felt for her.
"I'll try," I continued to smile at her, "And you try to be safe, please."
"Safe in Forks ?C what a challenge."
"For you it is a challenge." I hoped that she remembered my last request about her safety; that she stays out of the woods. "Promise." I begged. If she put herself in harm's way or was hurt in any way because I wasn't there to protect her... it would shattered my cold, silent, heart into pieces.
"I promise to try to be safe," she mused, "I'll do the laundry tonight ?C that ought to be fraught with peril."
If that were all she was going to do this evening, she should be safe. I remembered her incident in gym from the other day and grasped the concept that no matter what Bella was doing, there was always an opportunity for her to injure herself. The thought merely brought on an internal chuckle, though, and I teased, "Don't fall in."
"I'll do my best" she mocked.
I stood then, wishing I didn't have to leave. Bella got up too.
"I'll see you tomorrow," she sighed.
I was suddenly absorbed by my desires again. Maybe if I just lightly gripped her around the waist, I would only have to concentrate on the amount of pressure I used. No mistakes, I scolded myself. I suppressed a sigh.
"It seems like a long time to you, doesn't it?" I asked.
She nodded with a sullen expression. She was continually saying yes to me.
"I'll be there in the morning," I promised.
The infatuation I had over touching her was winning my inner dispute. I longed to hold her in my arms, to be engulfed in her warmth. I was craving her touch, too. My body was burning with the yearning to possess her and before I knew it I had reached over and touched her face, lightly touching her cheekbone. Her scent was lingering between us and I took air in my lungs slowly, as if to make the burning and aching of my throat a more pleasurable experience. It wasn't, it was only a burning pain and I knew if I didn't turn away now I wouldn't stop at her face. I'd grab at her waist and bring my lips to hers. No mistakes, I yelled internally. I turned on my heel and strode swiftly from the room, even though my mind was begging me to turn around and take the girl into my arms and... stop there!
When I arrived at the car Alice was sitting on the hood, "You know, Carlisle could help you turn her," Alice mused. I glared at her.
"I will not take her life Alice!"
"Sure fooled me, I thought I was going to have to drag you out of the lunch room with the visions that were flashing in my mind," Alice said, "Now I'm super thirsty after all the imagines I saw," she faux pouted.
"Like I said, I won't end her life," I eyed her evenly.
"Like I said," she mocked, "you should ask Carlisle. If you aren't biting her because you are afraid you will end her life, then why? To keep her human?" she looked at me in aversion, "but you know... Carlisle won't kill her." Alice continued.
"Alice, Bella will not be turned into a vampire, the first one who tries will suffer the consequences!" I growled.
"Okay, okay. Just a thought, Edward," she looked unhappy.
Alice got into the Volvo and we drove to Bella's.
She'll be fine, you know? Her night looks extremely uneventful. She really needs to get out more... Alice thought.
"I know, being away from her just makes me extremely anxious," I explained.
"I know," she trilled.
We arrived at Bella's shortly.
You'll find the key in her blue jeans downstairs in a blue laundry basket, Alice thought, figured I would save you some time. You would have found it eventually, of course, but this way you get out of there quicker.
"Thanks, Alice," I said, glad our little spat was patched up, or at least put behind us.
"You're Welcome!" Alice said while she jumped in the driver's side of the Volvo and drove off towards our house.
I was lurking inside Bella's house and found her truck key quickly. Her lingering scent was ever present throughout the house. I was breathing in deeper than I ever had before around the seductive scent, only because she wasn't here in the house. I was in no danger of hurting her when she wasn't here, I contemplated. So I took in another gulp of her perfume before I left the house, which I know I would regret later when I was hunting.
I drove her truck back to the school; her aroma was stronger in here than in her house. I tried to distract my mind by musing over all the things I could upgrade on her truck before Bella got out of school. If Rosalie and I were on better terms I would have her do some work under the hood. This truck couldn't possibly be that safe. I grabbed a piece of paper out of my backpack and decided to write a note to Bella. I have a keep sake from her, she deserves to have one from me, too. I thought of what to write while I was driving (more like snail crawling) back to the school. I decided simple was safer. When I parked the truck I left the key in the ignition and wrote "Be Safe" on the white piece of paper. I left it in her seat. I checked to make sure there was no one looking and I speed off through the forest and back home. Alice was waiting on the doorstep for me.
"Are you ready?" She trilled.
"Yes, let's go."
We sprinted through the forest in silence for several miles. I knew it was safe to hunt when the only thoughts I heard were Alice's. She was thinking about what she was going to pick out for Rosalie to wear tomorrow, whether green and pink or black and pink would look better on her new design for a shirt, and which shoe would look better with Esme's pants, open toed or not. Her thoughts wondered every which fashionable way possible, and I was grateful. I didn't want her to bring Bella up. She had so many visions and images in her mind when it came to Bella, and I would never be ready to see some of those visions come to light.
Her mind suddenly shifted to our purpose. She stopped suddenly and her eyes went blank. I saw flashes of a large animal in her thoughts but they were flashing and changing so rapidly I was unable to ascertain what she was seeing.
Her eyes focused on me now; there is a bear 5 miles from here. Go north and follow the river, you will run into him in 8.2 miles. Alice smiled at me.
"You know, Emmett will be jealous if I tell him you helped me catch a grizzly." I grinned.
"I know, but you need carnivore blood to help you out with tomorrow." She smirked.
"Meet you back here in 30?" I asked.
You've got it! She was gone before she finished her thought.
I ran north until I hit the river and followed it. I was letting the monster out of the cage, disengaging my ever flimsy hold on my growing thirst. The monster had been begging for release more than normal lately and I finally let my animal instincts take over. I thought of Bella's blood, and I was instantly ravenous. I came across a bear exactly 8.2 miles from my starting location. Alice really did have an amazing gift. The monster reared up and I let out a menacing growl. The bear stood on its hind legs and growled back unimpressively. I leapt towards the beast and quenched my thirst. I was right, Bella's scent and blood even made the bear's blood dull to the point of being dissatisfying. Bears were much more delicious then the deer I usually ate, but I had been exceedingly gluttonous with feeding since I met Bella, making my meals less than appetizing.
When the animal was dry of its blood I pushed the carcass off me and breathed in the cold night air. I rejoined with Alice shortly after.
"Are you going to Bella's tonight?" she asked.
"Of course, Alice, why?" I stared at her suspiciously.
"Oh, well, Jasper and Emmett have been missing you like crazy, I think I might have even seen Emmett pout the other night when you left so early," she chortled.
I didn't respond. I know that I had been spending an abundance of my time with Bella, but didn't they understand? They hardly leave their other half. That is what Bella had become though, my other half.
"Please, Edward... please," she begged.
I couldn't stand to see my little sister beg like this. I did owe my family a plenitude of my time after everything I had been putting them through lately.
"Okay Alice, but just for the earlier hours of the evening," I gave in.
During the evening Jasper, Emmet, Alice and myself decided that we were going to play cards. With the many talents my family members have, you would think that playing cards would be ludicrous. Jasper would be feeling the triumph or failure emitting from a card player, Alice would see future moves that you were going to make, and I could hear their thoughts. We didn't play games where we had to use our brains though. The card games we played were strictly speed based. With our vampire speed we tore through every deck of cards. Jasper and Emmet loved to gamble, and our games wouldn't be the same without a bet. Because of their constant opposition, Esme made us move our game outside before Emmett broke anymore furniture. Rosalie was still fuming about the situation with Bella, but even she couldn't hold herself up in the garage anymore and came to play. After 79 decks of cards, 2 broken tables, 1 broken vase, 1 ripped shirt (Jaspers), and 3 trees knocked down, we decided that we had caused enough destruction.
I did get pleasure from the time spent during the evening with my siblings. My regular moping had abruptly wilted away after I came back from Denali. I could tell that my family was enjoying the new Edward, the less mummy-like Edward. Something told me they didn't want the sulky one back again, which just gave me another excuse to stay with Bella.
Time passed slowly, even with the fun I was having with my family. I looked at the clock and noticed it was 10pm. I quickly stood up, ready to leave and watch Bella sleep. Emmett looked up at me and gave me a pleading look.
Come on bro, we are about to play some serious football. Jasper and I have come up with some new rules; you have to catch the ball with your elbows only. Come on, it will be hilarious! Emmett begged. Plus I have a bet that... he continued, but I interrupted him.
"Emmett, I'm sorry... maybe another time. It makes me uneasy to be away from her, you understand, right?"
Emmett scoffed and I grinned, "I knew you would understand!"
When I arrived at Bella's, she was already asleep. Any normal teenager would have been out with friends, going on a date, or shopping... but not my Bella. When I finally climbed through her window, I heard music playing. I was instantly intrigued. It was Chopin's Nocturnes. Once again, we shared a common interest. I knew this CD well. As I stepped closer to her, the scent that had almost taken me the first time we met entered my lungs and I felt like succumbing to the monster inside. She turned over once, and I heard her sigh my name. The clawing monster was instantly diminished.
She didn't move much after that, and she even lightly snored. I sat in the rocking chair breathing her scent in deeply. I was fighting all of my cravings tonight. She looked absolutely beautiful with her hair splayed across her face and pillow. Her pink cheeks lightly flushed. How long was I going to be able to suppress my growing desires to touch her? I knew that our trip to the meadow would either be our breaking or making point. Would she leave alive, or would she leave a vampire? I won't end her life, I promised myself. Tomorrow, of all the days I had spent with Bella, would be the one day I would not be allowed to make a mistake. I repeated, no mistakes, to myself for good measure. I suppressed a sigh. I honestly don't know if I will ever really leave her alone, but I would like to think that after tomorrow, I will have a plan.
When it started to get light outside I decided to leave, realizing Charlie would be up soon to go fishing. I was leaning over Bella, taking in her scent one last time before I left, and suddenly my hand was at her face lightly caressing. I pulled away immediately and flew out the window.
I decided that before I took Bella to the meadow, I needed to see Alice. Her visions were versatile lately. My future was a mystery and I wanted reassurance that Bella would come home to Charlie alive and unharmed. I knew what my decisions would be, but these new cravings were taking over. How many times had I reached out and touched Bella, not even realizing it until my hand was warming from her skin.
Alice greeted me at the door, "Edward, I know you are worried, let me show you what I see. There was one outcome where you bite Bella and she becomes a vampire, hum... but that one has become distant and fuzzy. This clearer vision shows you and Bella laying in the meadow, and my last vision shows you bringing her home safely." Alice showed me mentally.
I had a lump in my throat as I tried to thrust the first vision from my mind. That lump continued to grow as I began panicking. I didn't know how to ask, but I had to ask for her help. Before I could request her help, Alice answered, "I will be close by Edward. I won't let anything happen to Bella." I love her too, doesn't he realize this!
"Thanks, Alice." I whispered.
I swiftly rose up the stairs to prepare myself for our new journey together.
