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“You’re ridiculous,” I said, laughing even harder. My cheeks were still pink, and my embarrassment was still strong, but Fox was managing to make me feel better and better by the second. “I really don’t know what came over me, Fox. I went full soap-opera mode. I should have introduced you as my friend.”
Friend. That title makes me want to gag for some reason.
“A boyfriend is technically a friend. So there you go.”
I dropped the box holding some part of my life next to a small tower of others that leaned on the couch. I would have bought some kind of storage for them, but I didn’t want to make it seem like I was setting up for an extended stay at Casa de Fox. This had to be a purely temporary situation, one that lasted a couple of days and that was it. I already felt like I was intruding, even though Fox constantly reassured me that I wasn’t.
Hell, I was already calling him my fake boyfriend for Christ’s sake.
“I was just so… so taken by surprise. And not that I feel like she needs to wait any predetermined amount of time. I… I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to explain it to me, Jonah. I get it. Seeing your witch of an ex walking out of the bathroom with a guy is shocking.”
“I know, it’s… I don’t feel so bad, you know? About the relationship ending. It’s weird to say, but it’s also letting me breathe a little easier… so I don’t know why I reacted the way I did. Honestly, I could have seen five guys walk out of that bathroom behind her and it wouldn’t have really bothered me…”
“So…” Fox’s smile slanted across his tanned face, his beard growing in. “Are you saying you made us boyfriends because you wanted to say it?”
“That’s… shit. That is what I’m saying, isn’t it?” I felt a lump in my throat. It stopped any more words from forming.
“Wendy really fucked up.”
“Huh?”
We were in Fox’s living room, the door to the outside open and letting in a warm ocean breeze, soft and fresh. He didn’t have much light in his living room; aside from a nearby floor lamp and a dimmed overhead light, there was nothing else. It created an orange glow that cast long shadows across the stacks of my life, held in bulging cardboard boxes, the duct tape already looking frayed and strained, a direct reflection of how my emotions looked.
“How did she let you go so easily? How was she not fighting tooth and nail to keep you at her side?”
“Because that would mean messing up her manicure.”
“No, fuck that. I consider myself a good judge of character, and I’ve got full confidence in saying you’re a good fucking man. A great one. And for Wendy to have treated you the way she did, how she neglected you when you needed someone the most… it makes me sick.”
“It’s fine. I wasn’t exactly the world’s greatest boyfriend either.”
“Only because you had the wrong judge. Someone else would peg you ‘the world’s greatest’ in a heartbeat.”
I shook my head. As much as I wanted to take what he was telling me as truth, I just couldn’t. I was beginning to feel like shit. Not so much for Wendy, but for dragging Fox into all of this. He could have been out in some club right now, but instead he was playing therapist with someone who was beyond help. “You’re nice, Fox. Really, too nice. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve any of your kindness, but I’m grateful for it… I really am.” I took a breath. His scent filled the air. I picked up on something more than cologne. His natural scent, an intoxicating mixture that had me seeing stars. “I… you have me thinking all kinds of thoughts, Fox.”
“Oh really?” He cocked his head. “Like what?”
“Like… like how I’m the happiest I’ve ever been when we’re together. Even if we’re in a grimy alley or a sexy beach or inside of my old bedroom, wherever we are, I’m happy around you. And that’s weird. Isn’t that weird?”
Fox shook his head and remained silent.
“And then I think about how much I don’t want that feeling to end. How I want to chase it, chase you. I’ve never… no one has ever been on my mind as much as you have, Fox. I don’t know why… I don’t know…”
A swell of frustration rose through me. I turned, facing away from Fox, and rubbed my face, taking a deep breath so that my hands could steady themselves.
“It’s all right,” he said, his voice low and deep and close. I felt a hand on my elbow. I turned, Fox in front of me, looking down into my eyes. He was taller than me by a few inches, but right now it felt like we were separated by miles.
