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On my phone, I opened up a private browser and typed in the only address a private browser was used for.
A screen with rows and rows of girls getting pounded in all different directions and positions filled the phone. I didn’t tap on any of them. I changed the option at the top, moving the bubble to the “gay” option and away from the “straight” one.
The women were replaced by a screen of naked men, some alone, some together, some in threes and fours and fives. There were straight-passing guys being jerked off with blindfolds on; two beefy men sixty-nineing; a series of guys taking turns fucking a tiny blond twink.
I opened up a few different tabs, choosing as if I had made the line at a five-star fucking buffet. I had spent much of my life hating how much I loved watching two (or more) men go at it, but no more of that bullshit. I wouldn’t regret liking what I liked, just as much as a straight person didn’t regret liking what they like.
Fuck all that noise.
I leaned against the bathroom counter, the cold marble stinging my ass briefly before I adjusted to it. I played with myself as I watched a video of a guy giving a messy blowjob in the back of a pickup truck. I spit in my hand, bringing it down and stroking, the sound of my wet skin on skin mixing with the loud and sloppy sounds coming from my phone. I dropped my head back and shut my eyes, briefly forgetting about the video, my mind drifting elsewhere, past the phone in my hand. I started to imagine Shy and the way his hand would feel gripped around my cock. How it would feel when it was his spit making me wet. When it was his tongue swirling around the head of my cock.
I let out a primal groan and tugged on my nuts, letting the phone rest on the counter. I didn’t pause the video, but my attention was no longer on it. I looked down, admiring myself for a moment, how fucking hard I was, all because of Shiro and his honey-gold eyes. I wanted him looking up at me with those eyes, tears slipping from the corners as he gagged on my size. I stroked harder, my entire body tensing.
But I wanted more. My body had been crying out in a desperate sort of way. I went over to the shower, cock swinging in the air, and turned it on, the showerhead dropping water down in what appeared to be a jungle rain shower. I stepped into the shower, closing the glass door and letting the water fall over me, pushing down on my tense shoulders, my sore neck. Shiro had me wound up. I flexed my muscles, rolled my neck, and then returned my hand down to my hard cock, the water adding a new layer.
This shower was big enough for the two of us with plenty of room to spare. I pictured how Shy would look pressed against the gray-and-white subway tiles, his legs open for me, his cock just as hard as mine. I imagined myself turning around for him, showing him my back, my ass. And then I’d spread for him, letting myself be seen in a way no one else had ever seen me. I’d expose my hole, tease it with a finger for him, until he couldn’t take it anymore, until he pressed himself against me, buried himself inside me.
“Fuck,” I said into the stream of water. I grabbed the bottle of soap and pumped some onto my fingers. But instead of reaching for my cock, I reached around, sliding my fingers between my crack. I shut my eyes and parted my lips, water dripping down them, and I played with my hole, my cock twitching with every little motion I made. My toes curled against the shower floor. I had only played with my ass a few times before, and all three of those times, I never actually pushed in.
With Shy’s eyes emblazoned on my mind, I hooked a soapy finger and applied pressure, feeling the tight ring of muscle relax as I slipped in, a whole new world opening up to me. I explored myself, tentatively at first, moving my fingers in small circles, only going up to the first knuckle.
My cock throbbed up against the falling water. I stepped to the side of the shower, out from underneath the rainfall, finger still inside me. I moaned as I sank deeper, the sound echoing off the glass of the shower. I could feel my inner walls tightening on my finger, almost pulling it deeper. I started to slide in and out, curling my finger, rubbing at my walls, not even touching my cock from fear that I’d blow instantaneously.
