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I rolled over on the bed and grabbed my phone from the white nightstand. I had set it facedown and on night mode so that no notifications woke me up during the middle of the night.
First I woke to messages from Luna, telling me “I had to call her immediately.” Then followed messages from my mother telling me to also call her immediately.
Before I could dial back either of them, my phone started to vibrate as I got a FaceTime call.
From my father.
What in the world had happened? I got out of bed and quickly threw on a shirt and boxers before accepting the call, moving over to the balcony where I looked out at the sky-blue ocean as the call connected.
“Nicholas, where are you?”
My father, a man who carried the crown and never let the crown carry him, had a demeanor that could scare a lion. Growing up, I learned that his facade didn’t extend too deeply. He had a soft core underneath the hardened exterior, something not many were aware of. It allowed me to challenge him, to push at the boundaries he had set. I learned that even though he was the king, he was still my father.
“I’m on a cruise,” I said, sleep still clouding my thoughts. “Is everything okay? ¿Donde esta mamá?”
“Your mother is fine. I’m getting told that there are photographs circulating. Is there anything you need to tell me? Anything we need to handle?”
“Photos?”
Instantly, I assumed the worst. Someone had snapped a shot of me and Shiro swapping spit. The secret was out. Everyone was going to know. I wanted to pass out, but I steadied my legs and focused on finding a way out of this.
“Well, one photo. But knowing my son, I have a feeling there could be more.”
“I haven’t seen anything.”
My father turned his phone. He had been sitting in the study, the wall of books behind him now being replaced by the screen of his computer. On the center was the photo, and if I didn’t catch myself, I would have breathed out a sigh of relief.
Yes, it was a photo of Shiro and me, but my back was turned to the camera and it was difficult to tell it was me. And, although Shiro was in my arms, I could still see plenty of ways to spin it, one of which happened to be the truth: “My friend fell and I caught him. Is that why you’re FaceTiming with me as if the palace caught on fire?”
“It will catch fire if this turns out to be more than just a friend catching another one, Nicholas.”
A flare of anger rose inside me. I should have done it. Should have just come out right then and there. My father must have sensed something, or he wouldn’t be so worried about other photos leaking. He had to have some kind of idea.
And still, I kept my mouth shut.
“Nick,” my father said. “You left us here having to deal with stories upon stories, of how you broke Cristella’s heart. Devastated her. There had been rumors of marriage, and now there’s rumors of you being gay. How am I supposed to handle this?”
The word cut through me like a sharpened blade. He had said it with such a toxic disdain.
Gay.
Exactly what I was, and what my father dreaded to hear.
“You can handle it. You’re the king.”
My father rubbed the bridge of his nose. He looked out the window to his left, his eyes catching the light. I saw something reflected in them. Was it pain?
“Nicholas…”
“All right, I’ve got to go.” And figure out who the fuck is leaking photos.
I didn’t let my father get in another word. I clicked the call off, dropping my head against the glass door of the balcony. Part of me wanted to cry. I wanted to crack like an egg and let the tears flow like yolk. This was torture. Why couldn’t I just have said it then and there? Father, I’m gay. The crown can fucking deal with it, but guess what? Your son can’t. Your son can’t keep getting eaten up like he’s been infested with termites.
I held it together. This wasn’t the time to break. I took a deep breath and went to my suitcase. I changed into a pair of light-blue boardshorts and a black T-shirt. I slipped my hat back on and grabbed the sunglasses, too, the circular lenses hiding much of my face.
With my impromptu disguise in place, I left my room. Luna, the guardian angel that she was, had been sitting in the hallway, standing up the second she saw me.
“Nick, did you see?”
I nodded, lips pursed. The hall was empty, but I still couldn’t trust anything. Not after it was confirmed that someone on this ship knew who I was and who to send photos to.
