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“It’s okay,” I said, holding back tears. “It’s okay now.”
“Good,” my mom said, stiffening her upper lip. “I just want you to be happy, Nicholas… and now… now things will be so difficult. People are cruel, and the media has already been taking swipes at our family since the start.” Her lip quaked before it stiffened again.
“I can handle it. Whatever happens in the tabloids, whatever happens online, none of it matters. All I care about is you and dad. And, at the end of the day, if I could use my story to help out at least one closeted kid out there, then all the pain and shit-talking would be worth it.”
“Spain is still such a religious country.”
“Then they’ll need to actually practice what they preach and love their neighbor as they’d love themselves. Leave the judgment for judgment day.”
My mom chuckled, but the worry lines didn’t disappear from her face. If anything they had multiplied.
“We’ll be okay. I’ll be okay,” I reiterated, with a little more force this time.
“I know, Nicholas. I have no doubt about that.” She choked back a cry. “When did you know?”
“Since the day I got butterflies meeting the president’s son.”
“You were… that was when you were barely ten.”
“I probably even knew before then. I’ve fought it—trust me, I’ve fought it. But it was useless. I was only beating up on myself at the end of the day.”
My mom’s smile grew. “No more of that.”
“No more.”
She stood up from the couch. I could hear Eli jump off to follow her. “I’ll go talk to your father. He just needs some time to process it. Call me if anything, okay? Te amo, Nick.”
“I love you, mamá.”
And just like that, it was done. A flip had been switched. Everything was real, and there was no turning back now, no more running and no more hiding.
I was free.
18 Shiro Brooks
We all raised our glasses, the sound of our cheers lifting up to the cloudy night sky.
“To friendship!” we sang out, clinking the glasses. My toes sunk into the sand underneath me as I drank my beer, my heart feeling full as I looked around the table of friends, reunited after all those years. We sat out on the beach of St. Maarten, celebrating Christmas with a large dinner and endless drinks. There were dozens and dozens of circular tables set around the sand, with music playing and a dance floor beginning to form. The sun was setting, the early rays of its purple and orange light starting to fill the sky.
The only thing this scene missed was Nick, who had said he wasn’t feeling too great and had to skip out on dinner. He said he would join for drinks, but there was still no sign of him, and I started to get worried. I knew he wanted to speak to his parents when I had left his room… Had something happened? What if he called it quits on us and I didn’t even know. I was just sitting here, toes in the sand, drink in my hand, none the wiser that another breakup was headed my way.
“Where’s your new boyfriend?” Jada asked, probably reading the worry that I felt flash across my face. “Everything all right with him?”
“Yeah, I think so.” It felt weird referring to Nick as my “boyfriend.” The title was as new as our relationship.
“Don’t they make such a cute couple,” Ace chimed in.
Lou sat up in his seat. His cell phone–addicted girlfriend sat next to him, munching on some bread and scrolling through her phone. “I don’t think I remember ever seeing you smile that big,” he said, pointing at the grin that manifested itself every time Nick’s name was brought up.
Jada nodded and played with the hem of the white tablecloth covering the table. “Yeah, I loved you and Mace, but I could tell things weren’t exactly perfect. I just didn’t really see the spark. But with Nick, I saw the spark even before you told us anything. From day one, I had some suspicions. Right, Ken?”
“Yup. The second we got into our room, she said that you two were looking at each other funny.”
“And the energy coming off the two of you. I just knew.” Jada let go of the tablecloth and sat back in her chair. “And I was right.”
“He seems like a really good guy, too,” Rex offered, speaking in his low baritone. “I spent some time with him by the pool. He left a great impression on me.”
“Speaking of the sexy devil,” Ace said, pointing with his chin toward the entrance to the beach.
Nick walked toward us. He wore white pants and a navy blue button-down, his sandals dangling in his hand as he kicked up sand behind him. He smiled at the table and gave everyone a wave, but I stood up and went over to him. The second we kissed, the table behind us erupted in cheers.
