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Another dam broke. More tears. A prolonged silence followed, a heavy silence. One punctuated by even heavier breathing. Sam sniffled next to me, his hand on my chest, both of us looking out into the relative calm of my backyard.
“My leg was messed up,” I continued after some time. “Some of it was burned. Some of it got scraped up. There was a long gash down the back that needed stitches. I was dragged out of the car by a cop who happened to drive by just as it happened. There was no time to pull out anyone else.”
Another choked sob. Had it come from me or Sam? Both, maybe.
“All in the span of twenty-four hours. My entire world collapsed in on itself.” I took a breath, finding some kind of solid strength in my chest, pulling me back to shore. “I hated connecting with anyone after that day. I didn’t ever want to open myself up to the pain again. Not even a shadow of that pain.” I kissed the top of Sam’s head and pulled him tighter. His warmth against my skin made me feel more at home than the walls behind us ever had.
“I’m so sorry, Rocky. What you went through… I can’t even picture how hard it must have all been. No one should ever…”
“I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. That day.” I planted another kiss on his head. He smelled just like the flowery shampoo we had used earlier. We sat in more silence, the emotions of my past trauma still washing over us in intermittent waves.
“Your tattoo,” Sam said through one of those waves. He put a delicate hand on my knee, just underneath the tattoos, underneath the scarred and wrinkled skin.
“It covers the scars I got from the accident.”
“But doesn’t that—”
“Hurt like a motherfucker on steroids? Oh yeah. It felt like I was being dipped in a vat of acid over and over again. Took me two years to finish with all the breaks I had to take. But, fuck, it was worth it.” I stretched my leg out, letting him see the tattoo better. “The octopus was my brother’s favorite animal, and the elk was my dad’s. The flowers were all my mom’s favorite flowers, and the tree is the same tree I had asked Arty to be my boyfriend under.” I looked at the tattoo with a fondness that reached the deepest parts of me.
Sam sniffled again and wiped at his face. He looked up, into my eyes, his reflecting some of the moonlight above us.
I pushed a rogue strand of hair from his forehead.
“Thank you, Rocky. For opening up to me. For trusting me. It means the world and more.”
“I should be the one thanking you, Sam. For saving me. I had let myself drift back down into the darkness. I had pushed everyone away, even my coworkers, before you came into my life, reminding me of what I had been missing. I think back to that day I chased Hazel’s purse thief down the street, and I’m so fucking glad it turned out the way it did, with me knocking on your door a few hours later.”
“Nuts how life works, huh? One second you’re accusing me of stealing panties, and the next you’re falling in love with me.”
The L-word dropped like a bomb on the scene. Sam looked shocked he had let it slip.
“Not that I’m assuming anything,” he hastily added, his cheeks growing into two rose-colored dots. “You know, it’s not like I think we—”
I stopped him with a kiss, swallowing his words, parting his lips with my tongue. His head in my hands, I broke apart for a second. I looked deep into his eyes, making sure he knew I meant every word I was about to say.
“Sam Clark, I’m not falling in love with you.”
Sam took in a breath.
“I’ve already fallen.”
His eyes opened wide before I kissed that shocked smile right off his shocked face.
25
Sam Clark
The smell of frying bacon was what woke me up. I yawned and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, stretching under the soft, heavy bedsheets, rolling over and pushing my face deeper in the pillow. It smelled like Rocky. This entire room smelled like him, and I freaking loved it. More than I loved the competing smell of cooked bacon, which, let me tell you, was very high up in the ranking of things I loved.
Flashes of the night before filled me. The swing. Rocky’s sweat-beaded body. How it felt when he penetrated me for the first time. How my toes curled and my heart stopped and my brain melted. It had been a night I would never forget. It had also been a night I was ready to repeat.
Under the sheets, I was butt-ass naked. I considered reaching over to the footstool where my briefs were sitting, neatly folded, but I decided against it, staying there with a semi growing into full-blown morning wood. I figured if Rocky was surprising me with breakfast, then I could surprise him with something else.
