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Jack wiped his clammy hands over his thighs and hopped out of the car. He gripped his keys so hard they left marks in his palms. The jog up the path seemed much longer than he remembered. He shrugged his shoulders at the porch to loosen up.
The doorbell felt cool to the touch as its buzz solidified him to the spot. He was going to do it. He heard Ed thumping down the stairs, and then air dragged over him as the door swung open—
Ed startled. “Jack?”
“Um, yeah.”
“What are you…? I mean… come in.” Ed frowned and smiled at the same time. Clearly confused. “I thought you were the folks.” He laughed, and Jack stepped right into that laugh, gripped Ed like he hadn’t seen him in a week, and kissed him hard and deep. Ed sucked in a breath and pulled back just enough to look at Jack before melting into another kiss. Jack backed him into a wall, pressing their bodies tight together.
“I like you. So damn much,” he murmured into another kiss.
Ed laughed. “Came back to tell me that, did you?”
Keeping their bodies pinned, Jack drew his head back and looked Ed in the eye. “No, I came back to ask if you’d dance with me.”
“Is that what we’re calling it now?”
Jack grinned for a moment, took a deep breath, and tried again. “Here’s the thing, my fraternity has a formal coming up. You know, tuxes, finger food, slow music….”
Ed stiffened, and the mood shifted.
“I thought, if we were careful, if there’s isn’t anyone on the attendance list you know from work…. Maybe you’d go with me?”
Ed’s smile faded and he blinked hard. Jack clumsily moved back a foot, almost tripping. “It’s not that I don’t want to dance with you,” Ed said tightly and edged to the staircase. He sat on the bottom stair and rubbed his thighs. Then he looked up.
Jack cursed himself for being this stupid. Of course this was going to be his reaction. Here he was, just another guy trying to push him to come out before he was ready. Jack wasn’t the risk worth taking. “You told your parents about Becky. You came to Marcus’s game. I thought…. You know what? Just forget it.” He touched his ring through his T-shirt and swallowed. “Your folks are probably coming home any second. I should leave.” He stepped back toward the door with a stupid little wave. “See you next week?”
Ed shifted on the step to make room. “Sit for a sec?”
After a moment of doubt, Jack folded himself next to Ed, their shoulders lightly touching.
“It’s not that I don’t want to go with you.”
Jack stared toward the front door, throat tight. “I get it, I do. It’s not like I really wanted to go in the first place. But I made this bet with this guy, and, well….”
“Bet?” Ed glanced up at him.
Jack held his breath, then let it out slowly. “This douche didn’t think I had it in me to bring anyone to formal.” He shut his eyes and cursed himself. “I only accepted the bet because he slammed my dead parents in my face—and someone needs to teach this dick a lesson.”
Ed twisted and leaned against the wall, a stiff set to his shoulders. “I’m sure it’s not true,” he said slowly, “because I trust you, Jack, but I’ve been hurt before and I have to ask…. Is this thing between us because you needed someone to take to the formal?”
Jack swiveled on the step and cupped Ed’s face. A guarded gaze met his, deep and uncertain. “I made this stupid bet before anything between us started. It’s not why I’ve been going out with you. I wasn’t going to bring this up at all. Didn’t want to make you feel pressured to come out. I just… I read us wrong.” His chest ached to admit that, hope fading to bitter disappointment. “Driving in my Jeep, going to yard sales, restaurants, smuggling me into your basement, telling your parents about your sister’s drunken antics, surprising me at Marcus’s game—it felt like you were overcoming your issues. That maybe I was worth the risk.” His breathing stuttered, and the beginnings of a panic attack inched closer. “Please believe me, I didn’t do all this just to win a bet. I’m sorry if you think so.”
Weariness clouded Ed’s expression. “It’s not that I don’t want to dance with you.”
Jack nodded. “I know. People might find out about you and make it tough at work.”
Ed gripped his shoulders, thumb sliding up Jack’s neck. He squeezed gently. “I can handle getting shit from people I don’t give a damn about, Jack. I just can’t get fired. I told you Dad was underemployed. This house has loans on it, and they need my rent. Jobs are scarce around here, especially for someone who won’t work graveyard shifts because he wants to get a college degree.”
