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* * *
Henry: I’d have finished it last night, but Georgie took off with it.
* * *
Cameron: That’s why you wrote. You’re bored.
* * *
Henry: There are more essays to grade, but I’m putting them off to later in the week. You’ve read The Duke’s Sin, so how upset should I be that Georgie is holding it hostage?
* * *
Cameron: Very. It’s a thrilling romantic adventure.
* * *
Henry: Tobias doesn’t know what trouble he’s landed himself in.
* * *
Cameron: He’s bookish smart, but not life smart. Nice.
* * *
Henry: Nice? You pain me.
* * *
Cameron: What’s wrong with nice?
* * *
Henry: This is a nice day. Those are nice sneakers. I’m having a nice conversation. It’s a very nice word. You’re a writer, not a thirteen-year-old commending his best friend on their choice of crush. Give me one-of-a-kind.
* * *
Cameron: Niiiiiice.
* * *
Henry: An insult to my ears.
* * *
Cameron: Then I’ll stop thinking of you as nice.
* * *
Henry: Nice? Or niiiiice?
* * *
Cameron: So you agree intonation can add significant meaning to simple words, rendering them one of a kind?
* * *
Henry: I think I prefer you when you’re . . . parched.
* * *
Cameron: Henry!
* * *
Henry: Apologies. What are you reading? Is it nice?
* * *
Cameron: As nice as you are cheeky.
* * *
Henry: Elaborate.
* * *
Cameron: I’m reading a mystery series by Josh Lanyon. It’s very good.
* * *
Henry: Lanyon? From Ralph Lanyon in The Charioteer?
* * *
Cameron: I don’t know. The Charioteer?”
* * *
Henry: I’ll explain another day.
* * *
Henry: What are the books about?
Cameron: Sorry, got busy at work. Now at home. Just took a dip in the pool.
* * *
Henry: As in, still wet?
* * *
Cameron: A towel around my waist. Showered. Might be lame, but it’s straight to bed for me.
* * *
Henry: It’s ten o’clock. Long day. Did you eat?
* * *
Cameron: Footlong from Subway, extra mayo.
* * *
Henry: Do you do it on purpose?
* * *
Cameron: What?
* * *
Henry: Never mind.
* * *
Cameron: ???
* * *
Henry: So you’re practically naked and heading to bed . . .
* * *
Cameron: I wasn’t trying to sext you!
* * *
Henry: You weren’t trying.
* * *
Cameron: Oh, God. Am I Freudian-slipping everywhere?
* * *
Henry: Or I have a shockingly lewd sense of humor. Forgive me.
* * *
Cameron: I like humor.
* * *
Henry: Well, aren’t we two penises in a pod?
* * *
Cameron: You did that on purpose.
* * *
Henry: No regrets. Did you receive your ball invitations?
* * *
Cameron: Isabella literally squealed.
* * *
Henry: What will you be wearing?
* * *
Cameron: Nothing.
* * *
Henry: As good as that sounds, not very appropriate.
* * *
Cameron: I’m not coming.
* * *
Henry: Why not?
* * *
Cameron: The Tilney manse is haunted, and you didn’t really want me there.
* * *
Henry: I asked you.
* * *
Cameron: You were coerced.
* * *
Henry: Isabella didn’t coerce me. She gave me the excuse to express my desires.
* * *
Cameron: I believe you.
* * *
Henry: You’re still not coming?
* * *
Cameron: How was the rest of your day?
* * *
Henry: Good up to now. Alicia called and said she’s moving here at the end of November.
* * *
Cameron: Oh. That’s good?
* * *
Henry: That’s exciting. Great. Wonderful.
* * *
Cameron: Glad you’re happy.
* * *
Henry: Ecstatic.
* * *
Cameron: Big words.
* * *
Henry: Big feelings.
* * *
Cameron: She sounds like quite something.
* * *
Henry: Let me tell you about it . . .
Cameron: I cannot stay up until three in the morning like last night.
* * *
Henry: Now we’ve established the ground rules, how are you?
* * *
Cameron: I mean I want to stay up, but I can’t.
* * *
Henry: Want me to set an alarm?
* * *
Cameron: Oh, good idea.
* * *
Henry: Here’s another idea. How about I call?
* * *
Cameron: And hear your voice?
* * *
Henry: See me too, if you like.
* * *
Cameron: . . .
* * *
Henry: You keep typing and deleting . . .
* * *
Cameron: It’s easier chatting like this. The written word is freeing. I don’t feel so nervous.
* * *
Henry: I do enjoy the epistolary form.
* * *
Cameron: In that case, write me a letter: Cameron17Morland @gmail.com
* * *
(Ten minutes later)
* * *
To: Cameron17Morland @gmail.com
From: Henrybatilney @gmail.com
Dear Cameron,
Letter writing is a lost art form that I feel better reading than attempting, but I’ll give it a go. I have no doubt your reply will be much better than mine. At least in content. Though there might be three ways I have an advantage.
The ability to keep things short and to the point.
Excellent grammar.
This neat font I downloaded that gives any poor text an air of sophistication.
I have sudden appreciation for what I routinely put my students through. It’s so much easier to critique than to produce, and I’ll have a kinder eye moving forward.
It might be useful to orient this correspondence around a theme. Do you have any ideas?
