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“Tell me what you went through. I want to hear it.”
Nanny desperately wanted Maleficent to forgive her, not just for her sake but for Maleficent’s. Oberon was still waiting outside, and she wanted to buy Maleficent more time. To give her a chance to redeem herself. Nanny wanted the tiny star in Maleficent’s heart to guide her to redemption. To lead her away from the darkness.
Then maybe, just maybe, Oberon would spare her life.
“The first memory I have of the place I now call home is sitting on my cold stone throne. I remember shivering in pain, but I felt I deserved it. My only comfort was my ravens and crows. If it weren’t for them, I don’t know what would have become of me. You have to understand I’m speaking of how I felt then, not how I feel now. I was a different person then. Now everything feels detached.
“Have you ever looked back on events that happened many years ago and felt as if they happened to someone else entirely? That is how I feel now, except the detachment is more profound, because truly I was another person. I have memories of my feelings, of how I felt in the past, but I truly don’t think I feel anything now, except rage and the undeniable need to protect my daughter.
“I found my crumbling castle quite by mistake and decided to make it my home. It was inhabited by foul little creatures that feared me. They had seen me in my dragon form and decided I was sent there by their former ruler, Hades, to rule over them in his stead. I found out later my castle was once a great place of power, and the little creatures, who were to become my goons, had been left there, abandoned by Hades when he fled those lands. I never saw the god of the underworld. He didn’t visit me, but my birds told me the story relayed to them by the creatures. I spent many years there, alone, suffering over what I had done. I felt I deserved all the pain I was experiencing, and I became very fearful of ever becoming angry again, fearful that I might destroy myself in the process. The pain involved in becoming a dragon is unbearable. I honestly didn’t think I would survive it again. It’s why I stayed a dragon for so long. I was afraid of the pain involved in transforming back to my true self. And I was afraid of who I would become once I took my true form. Eventually I became lonely and tired of always fighting off some young man who wanted to prove his bravery by killing the great dragon. But it was really the hope of seeing Diablo, Opal, and my birds again that gave me the courage to become myself. I had been without them for so long. My loneliness was palpable. It ate away at me, leaving me with little hope that once I was myself again, they would at last hear my call. But they did. And when I transformed, I found I was very much the same person I was before. I was the fairy you knew and loved, except I was filled with an unspeakable sadness and a tremendous guilt for what I thought I had done to you and to everyone else. As the years passed and my loneliness deepened, I wished you had never found me in that crow tree. I wished I’d never known what it was like to be loved by someone. In those years, my pain and longing for you was so desperate that it rivaled the agony of my dragon transformation. I spent my days practicing magic and reading the books my crows brought to me, spirited away from far-off places. I had my books, my crows, and my ravens. I honestly didn’t feel I needed anything else.
“That is, until the odd sisters found me. They had lost their little sister, Circe, and they were deeply saddened. No matter how much I questioned them, they wouldn’t say what had happened. They seemed to be consumed with guilt and heartbreak. I imagined they lost her in some manner in which they were at fault. I didn’t know the details and I didn’t ask. I was just happy they found me. I’d always imagined if they’d somehow survived what had happened in the Fairylands and managed to find me, I would be met with their condemnation and anger, but they came to me with love and concern. They wanted to care for me. They wanted to make me
their own and to help me.
“As you know, I loved the odd sisters the moment I first laid eyes on them. So when they found me in my ruined castle, I was tempted to go with them to their home. But I was afraid I would eventually destroy them with my powers. They were so different then, the odd sisters, so different from how they are now. But I don’t have to tell you that. You remember how they were. Yes, they’d often speak over each other and become excitable. But now when I look back on my memory of them, I see that they were very different witches from who they are today. Not just because they have aged since then, but because their hearts have changed. Their manners have changed. Their souls have changed. But the sisters then, they wanted to care for me and to take me home with them.
“No matter how they pleaded, I wouldn’t go. I was too afraid of what I might do to them.
“‘You could never hurt us, dear! No. We will teach you to control your powers.’
“‘Oh, yes! We will instruct you, dear!’
“‘Please, Maleficent, we love you! We need you!’
“And so it went for quite some time. The odd sisters would come swooping down from the heavens to check on me, and to ask me to live with them. But still I said no.
“Over time, their visits became less and less frequent.
“I kept myself busy with my books and my pets. My crows flew to all the places I was too afraid to travel, told me stories from every kingdom, and brought me spells from other witches. They also brought word from the odd sisters, who kept quite busy with adventures of their own.
“It had been many years since I had seen them when they paid me another visit, again pleading with me to come live with them. It was then that I saw the beginnings of their transformation, although I didn’t know it at the time. I only see it now when I look at the events with removed objectivity.
“‘You are lonely, dear one,’ Lucinda said to me. ‘You are withering away with no one to love. Won’t you please come to live with us and let us give you the companionship you so desperately need? Please, Maleficent. It is the only way you will survive.’
“That was probably the last visit during which the odd sisters spoke coherently. The next time they visited, everything changed.
“‘Maleficent. Please let us help you,’ the sisters begged when they came to see me again. ‘If you won’t come to live with us, if you won’t let us love you, then please let us give you a daughter. Let us give you someone to love. Someone to care for and someone who will care for you.’
“I loved the idea of having someone to care for other than my birds. I loved the idea of someone loving me, but I didn’t understand how the odd sisters could do this.
“‘But how?’ I asked. The odd sisters laughed, but not in jest. They laughed because they were happy. They laughed because they thought they were giving me the greatest gift they could give: love. But I was worried. I wasn’t sure if this was something I should consider. I wasn’t sure if it was safe.
“They assured me it was. ‘Oh, my dear, don’t fear. We can do this. We’ve been devising this spell for many years, perfecting and mastering it before we dared to use it.’
“‘We would never offer you such a great gift or dangle it in front of your face if we didn’t know we could really give it to you.’
“Lucinda had been doing most of the speaking, but this time it was Ruby who spoke. ‘And we would never give you a spell that would put you in danger, dear one. We plan to use the spell ourselves.’
“And then it was sweet Martha, with her slightly kinder eyes, who spoke. ‘We created the spell for ourselves, you see, so you know it must be safe. And once it was perfected, once we knew it was finally right and we were about to use it, we had an epiphany!’
“‘We should help Maleficent! We will give her this gift!’ All the sisters were talking at once, their excitement and love overcoming them. ‘We want to give you this, Maleficent! Please let us help you.’
“I couldn’t express to them how much their offer meant to me. How wonderful this gift really was, and, yes, of course I would take it. I would have a daughter. I couldn’t make myself speak. I couldn’t find the words to express my gratitude to them.
“‘We know, our dear little dragon fairy-witch, we know. Please, there is no need for words. Not between us.’
“It was several weeks later when the odd sisters summoned me to their home. They sent a message with Opal, who must have been visiting them on one of her adventures. They said it was finally time to do the spell, but that it needed to be performed at their home. I never left my castle, not ever, not once in all those years, and I was terribly anxious. I was so afraid to use my powers, terrified to use even the simplest of travel charms, that I decided to go by foot to where the odd sisters had placed their house. It was on the outskirts of the kingdom, not very far away at all, but the idea of traveling even such a short distance sent a panic through my entire body. I summoned Diablo, Opal, and my other birds, and I asked them to follow overhead and watch the sky. The odd sisters’ letter said that they would have placed their house closer to my castle but something had prevented them from doing so. They assumed it was some sort of security measure by the previous occupant that was remaining in place.
