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“Won’t you have some tea, Cruella?” Anita asked. But I had to go. If I stayed one more moment she was going to catch on.
“No, I’ve got to run, darling. Now let me know when the puppies arrive. You will, won’t you, dear?”
“Yes, Cruella,” Anita said, like the good girl she was. She never could say no to me.
“Now, don’t forget it’s a promise,” I said, and I left as quickly as I could. “See
you in three weeks. Cheerio. Cheerio, darling!”
The plan started out well enough, wouldn’t you say? Even with my little blunders I had that stupid Anita eating out of the palm of my hand. I’d seen where she lived. It was worse than I had imagined. There was no way she could afford two dogs and their puppies, and she would never go back on a promise. She wasn’t the sort. Besides, Perdita was mine. The least she could do was give me her puppies. Everything was going exactly as I had planned.
Anita called me at Hell Hall early one evening about three weeks later to let me know the puppies were arriving. She seemed like she regretted saying I could have them. Like she was trying to figure out how to wriggle her way out of her promise. Well, I wasn’t going to let her. I drove over there straightaway. Even if I couldn’t have the puppies that evening, and I had to wait until they were old enough to leave their mother, I still wanted to see them. They were mine! Mine, I say.
Mrs. Baddeley let me into the house and showed me to the living room before she ran off to the kitchen to rejoin Roger and Anita. I do believe she was afraid to be alone in the room with me! I paced in the living room, waiting for my puppies to be born while everyone else fretted and cooed over Perdita and Pongo. And then I heard the news. I heard Mrs. Baddeley’s bellowing from the living room. “The puppies! The puppies are here!” she yelled. And then came Roger’s voice.
“How many?”
Eight? Did I hear her say there were eight puppies? My goodness. What I could do with eight puppies. It was going even better than I planned. Eight puppies. And then the woman bellowed again.
“Ten!” Ten puppies. I couldn’t believe it. I continued to pace in the living room, but I could hear everything going on in the kitchen.
“Eleven!” yelled Mrs. Baddeley, and the number of puppies kept rising. Now this was even better than I’d hoped for. It was a miracle! I waited for what felt like an eternity for everyone to come out of the kitchen. They were whispering in there about something. They were talking in hushed tones; I could hardly hear them. And then I heard it. Fifteen puppies. I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to see them.
“Fifteen puppies! Fifteen puppies! How marvelous, how marvelous, how perfectly … Ugh.” Wait. Something wasn’t right. They didn’t have their spots! Anyone could make a white fur coat. Even I had one of those, for heaven’s sake. I wanted spotted fur! It had to be spotted; it had to be special! I was robbed! I was lied to! What had that Perdita been up to? White puppies, indeed. “Oh, the devil take it, they’re mongrels, no spots! No spots at all. What a horrid little white rat!” I said, looking at the ugly creature in Mrs. Baddeley’s arms.
“They’re not mongrels!” yelled Mrs. Baddeley. “They’ll get their spots. Just you wait and see!”
“That’s right, Cruella. They’ll have their spots in a few weeks,” said Anita, coming out of the washroom.
“Oh, well in that case, I’ll take them all. The whole litter. Just name your price, dear,” I said. I knew she was only expecting me to want a few of them. She had promised me the litter before she knew how many puppies Perdita was carrying. Well, I intended to take them all.
Anita looked pained. “I’m afraid we can’t give them up. Poor Perdita, she’d be heartbroken.”
She’d changed her mind. She went back on her promise! I was livid, but I tried to play it cool.
“Anita, don’t be ridiculous. You can’t possibly afford to keep them. You can scarcely afford to feed yourselves,” I said. But Anita wasn’t budging.
“I’m sure we’ll get along,” she said, her mind made up.
“Yes, I know. I know. Roger’s … Roger’s songs!” I couldn’t stop laughing. “Oh, now really, enough of this nonsense. I’ll pay you twice what they’re worth. Come now, I’m being more than generous.” I took out my checkbook, even though I barely had two quid to rub together. “Blast this pen! Blast this wretched, wretched pen, ah!” It was really quite funny, when I think of it now. The ink sprayed all over Roger. “When can the puppies leave their mother? Two weeks? Three weeks?” I asked. I could hardly wait.
“Never.” It was Roger. He’d found his voice. That stammering fool said he wasn’t going to give me a single puppy! I had to ask Anita if he was serious. I mean, really, how can you take such a man seriously? He was a joke. A laughingstock. Imagine, a man like him trying to stand up to me. And Anita? Well, if she wanted to be a fool’s dishrag then that was her misfortune. I was through with her. Through with all of them.
“I’ll get even. Just wait. You’ll be sorry, you fools! You idiots!”
My henchmen, Horace and Jasper, told me all about it. How they locked that idiot Mrs. Baddeley up in the attic and took the puppies. She always was an old fool, and now she was an even older fool than before. They tricked the old woman, not that it took much trickery on their part. They waited until Anita and Roger took Perdita and Pongo for a walk, then simply rang the doorbell and made up a lie, pretending they were there to fix the electric or gas or something. Simple. And oh, what a stir it made. You’d think someone had kidnapped the Queen the way everyone was acting. It was in all the papers! And it really was very amusing, seeing Anita and Roger’s photos. Reading that frumpy old woman’s account of the story. I laughed when I read all the headlines. I couldn’t help myself. I mean really. Such a fuss over a bunch of puppies. I was staying in a hotel in London, Mama’s treat. She was in town staying at the same hotel, and we were meeting for dinner. I just had to tell her about my plans. I couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when I told her what I was up to. What I had in mind. My master plan. Oh, it was too divine. She would be so proud of me.
I had it all planned out. I had those fool henchmen staying in Hell Hall with the puppies while I was tucked safely away in my hotel room. There was no way I was going to be connected to those puppies or those idiots Horace and Jasper if Scotland Yard came poking around. Thank goodness Mama was in town.
But the papers. Oh, the papers. They were a gas! I read them in bed, taking delight in everyone’s misery while I was waiting for my hair to set. I had a marvelous evening planned with my mama and I wanted to look my best.
“Dognapping! Tsk, tsk. Can you imagine such a thing? Fifteen puppies stolen. But they are darling little things.” I was suffering from fits of laughter. “Anita and her bashful Beethoven. Pipe and all! Oh, Roger, you are a fool!” I honestly couldn’t remember when I’d felt better. It was all too delicious. It was the most delightful evening I’d had in ages, since Jack was alive. It was all too wonderful. I had the puppies hidden away at Hell Hall, and I thought I had gotten away with it! My revenge on Anita and her fool of a husband. Saying no to me! Making up wretched songs about me. Me! Cruella De Vil! I’d taught them a lesson they would never forget. Maybe I would send Anita a little coat, as a thank-you gift. She’d said she would like one, after all. But of course that jumped-up musician of hers couldn’t afford to buy her one. Why not send her a little gift? Oh, she’d lost her chance at a wonderful life, traveling the world with me!
But I mustn’t dwell in the past. I thought everything was going brilliantly, and I couldn’t wait to tell Mama what I was up to. She would be so proud of me! Her daughter, the first ever to make fur coats out of spotted puppies. And she would adore it! She’d wanted a muffler all those years ago, and this would be so much more magnificent. Everything was going brilliantly.
Of course I didn’t much care for having Scotland Yard investigate me, calling me in for questioning. Me! I know it was Roger who sent them sniffing around me. They had posters plastered all over the city, and the newspapers were splashed with those puppies and those fools’ faces. Between that and Scotland Yard taking an interest in the case, those imbeciles Jasper and Horace were nervous.
They called me at the hotel even though I had forbade them. I thought it was Mama calling me to confirm our dinner later, but it was Jasper.
