AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He tilts his head, looking closely at me, and then returns his gaze to the lake. It’s like he finds it easier to gaze at nature than at me.
Maybe my gaping is making him uncomfortable.
“When I first started to get some success, I knew people would want to interview me, want to know who I was. So I decided to preempt it all and put certain defenses in place. I hired a private investigator and they reverse-engineered the system, making me difficult to find, both online and off. I couldn’t stand the idea of being known, of being… Fuck, I don’t know, of being distracted.”
“Distracted?” I ask.
He sits up, waving his hand, passion flaring in him. “From the work. The work’s all that matters. That’s what I thought, anyway, before I had Millie. And before…”
Once again his eyes return to me, glimmering with something I find impossible to read. His massive body seems like it’s expanding, like any second he could erupt, tearing out of his skin like a werewolf.
Before what? I want to cry. Before you met me? Is that what you were going to say?
“What about you?” he asks.
“What about me?”
“What’s your passion? What are you going to do when—”
“When I grow up?” I say, unable to stop the snappy tone from tinging my voice. “Is that what you were going to say? Because I’ll have you know I’m twenty, almost twenty-one, so I’m very much a grownup.”
He chuckles. “No need to get feisty. I was going to say when you graduate, not when you grow up. I can see you’re a grownup just fine.”
My cheeks burn and I feel a blush spreading over me, down my neck, and over my body. I feel it colonizing in different parts of me until every inch of my skin is burning and alive to the tiniest of sensations. The light breeze caressing my neck feels like a lover’s kiss, softly stroking up and up, creeping closer to my chin, my lips.
I push the crazy thought away, focus on the moment, on his question.
“I want to be an actor,” I tell him. “I know how ridiculous that sounds. Who doesn’t want to be an actor, right? The odds are stacked against me. But that’s my dream, my goal.”
“Not a singer?” he asks. “You have a lovely voice.”
I tell myself he’s just being nice. He doesn’t mean anything by that.
“It’s one thing having a little section in a play,” I murmur. “But it’s completely different to, you know, be a singer. No, I’ll be an actor. And if I have to sing here and there, well, I’ll give it my best shot.”
My words come out stumblingly, feeling as though I have to drag them from deep inside of me, haul them out and make them work. I’ve always found it difficult to talk about myself, about my dreams, my desires.
“Are you okay?” he asks, still staring, pinning me in place.
No, because I want him, I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anyone or anything. I can’t stop thinking about how badly I want to crush my body against his, how badly I want to wrap my arms around him and hug him close and never let go. But letting go would mean facing just how traitorous these thoughts are.
“It’s just weird talking about myself, I guess. I try to do it as little as possible.”
“You shouldn’t be so humble.” A wolf’s growl enters his voice. “There’s no need for it, not when you’re as talented as you are.”
His compliment purrs over my body, making my skin hot, ready for his touch.
“Anyway.” He stands, Tanker hopping down and waiting at his feet. “Thanks for the sandwich. I’m going to write… or try to write.”
I want to ask him about his writer’s block, how it’s possible for somebody as talented and prolific as him to suddenly stop. But then he turns and strides into the house, ducking under the doorframe so he doesn’t bump his handsome silver-haired head. Tanker pads at his feet, and then the door closes behind him.
Sighing, I sit back, interlocking my fingers in my lap.
But what right do I have to sigh, to be disappointed that he’s left me out here alone?
We mean nothing to each other. Millie would tear my eyes out if she knew what I was thinking, how badly I wanted to climb atop her father.
At least I know he’d never want me, not in a million years.
At least I know this is all going to stay firmly imprisoned in my mind.
Chapter Six
Roman
I lie in bed and stare up at the ceiling, watching as the moonlight appears and disappears with the passing of the clouds. The night is quiet and cool, a chill in the air hinting that the weather might change. The forecast said there’s a chance a big storm might be heading our way, but it can’t compare to the storm raging through me, the thunder cracking deep inside of me every time I think about Rayla.
